Alternative title-Well, this is awkward.

I’ve never really had to think about making friends. Before you roll your eyes, no it’s not because I’ve always been so oh my god popular! It’s because I was born with a built in best friend, a twin sister. From the jump, I’ve had someone to talk to, someone to relate to and experience life with.

And then, yeah, I’ve been pretty lucky in the friend department

Until now.

I’m sure my sister and friends who are reading this right now are like ummm…hi? But here’s the thing. I have friends all over the world…the girls I count as my best friends are in Southern Cali, Vegas, Arizona, Canada…but I’m in a new city where I don’t know a soul, and there’s really no fancy way to say it…I’m lonely, you guys. I visit home a lot and see my girls and my sister, and I know that where we are living right now is temporary, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t missing something.

I miss random chats at the Coffee Bean. I miss frantic last minute shopping trips when one of us just needs to buy something because…well, just because. I miss late night frozen yogurt runs with my sister. I miss gym dates, yoga dates and I miss movie nights where we’d drink wine and talk too much to possibly pay attention to the movie.

I miss face to face, in real life, laughing til you cry friendship. And even though our living situation is temporary, I want to make the most of it. Just because something is temporary doesn’t mean it’s not important, I mean hello, LIFE is temporary.

Now, ya’ll know that I adore my boyfriend. That when it comes down to it, he’s my bestest bestest friend. He’s great…he tries to fill in for the lack of girl time I’ve had lately, bless his lil heart. But I know he could give two shits about the Bachelor and if false lashes are in fact appropriate during the day (I’m still on the fence). Plus, I like to obsess about things a lot, it’s quite the hobby of mine and he just wasn’t born with that gene. I need an obsess-er buddy!

No matter how fantastic he is, a girl needs more than just her guy. And I know that it starts with me-I know that I need to get out there, that I need show up at the yoga studio with a smile on my face and be open. It’s just a little weird to be looking for friends at this stage of my life, you know? I feel like a creeper…like they’ll think I’m going to expect them to wear a super stylish promise ring or something…

Why is there not an online dating site for new friends? Oh wait, I think there is. It’s called the internet.

I mean, I hope you didn’t come here looking for answers, because I really don’t know. What I do know though is this experience is making me appreciate my dear friends a hell of a lot more than I ever have. When I tell them “I can’t wait to see you!” I don’t think they have any idea just how much I mean it.

I really, really mean it.

So for now, I’m holding on to that…to them, no matter how far away we all are from each other.  I’m holding on to the girls I can call at all hours of the day, the skype chats that almost almost almost feel like we’re in the same room, and the blessing of knowing that we’re all just a plane ride away.  We have an extra bedroom, ladies.

Share/Bookmark

I can’t even believe I’m writing this post.

I’m lucky to not have many haters (that I know of ha), but I’m sure if I have any, this post will bring em out. Save it, sister.
I’m not an expert. I’m not a doctor. I’m not a nutritionist.

I AM in the process of getting certified as a personal trainer. So there’s that. VERY excited about this, by the way!

And I AM a girl who’s lost over 50 pounds…now I’m training for my first full marathon…and I have completely changed my attitude towards food, body image, health and my life in general.

Some of you know about this journey. Some have seen pictures. In any case, I’ve received some of the sweetest emails/texts asking for advice…specifically “what I’m doing” and so I’d thought I’d share a little about what has worked for me, what hasn’t, what’s been amazing, what’s made me burst into tears.

Let me preface this by saying you are beautiful just the way you are. I originally just wanted to drop ten pounds for summer. That has turned into an entire lifestyle change, for me. It has to be something you are ready for, to commit to. But your weight should never define you, and I’ve learned-sometimes as the numbers on the scale go down, your life can get even more complicated. AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THAT WAS POSSIBLE.

So here we go.

Educate yourself. I have turned into a nutrition NERD. Last night I fell asleep with my blackberry in my hand while reading health blogs. You want to go no carb? Fine…but do you know WHY? Is this something you’re going to be able to stick to…forever? Whatever the case-educate yourself…this is your body.

I have eliminated processed “man made” foods from my diet. Except for when I’m pmsing, of course. Everyone knows there are no rules when it comes to PMS. I know my place. Anyways, this could be a blog post in it’s entirety so to simplify, I eat as all natural/organic/”from the earth” as possible.

No white foods. They’re like that friend you’ve had since 3rd grade and you still hang out with all the time out of habit, but she makes you feel like crap and doesn’t bring anything to the table.

Find healthy alternatives! There’s no way I can live off chicken and broccoli every night, and knowing this has caused me to get my ass in the kitchen. And while I don’t use white or brown sugar, I have a MAJOR sweet tooth, so I use agave or truvia. It’s amazing the things you can come up with that are good for you and taste even better than the “originals”.

You will have days where you eat everything you “shouldn’t”, drink yourself under the table, and hate yourself. Never hate yourself-as I’ve taken this day by day, month by month I’ve learned to be kind to my body and myself. We all have bad days, but the best part of a lifestyle change, NOT a diet, is that tomorrow is another day.

BALANCE. My friend M and I call each other “balance” because she’s the ying to my yang and vice versa. When I’m feeling a little too much of well…anything really, I bbm her (she’s in NYC) and she pulls me back to the center. I was recently talking to another one of my soul sisters, Lauren, who is also changing her lifestyle, about the concept of “balance” in our diets. You had a cupcake for breakfast? Cool, awesome, you’re over it. Now just eat healthy proteins and veggies the rest of the day and get on with your life, without beating yourself up. LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Get moving. I’ve literally sweat my ass off. I never thought I’d really be able to call myself a runner, and now I can. A combination of Running/Spin/Pilates/Weights work for me-find what works for you. I happen to LOVE the gym, I feel like once I step inside it’s Game On and I get in the zone…it’s total Elizabeth time-just me, my music and my thoughts. Maybe you prefer being outdoors, or are doing workout videos at home. Awesome…just move. I’ve NEVER EVER left the gym thinking, “WOW that was so lame! Never doing that again!” Um, no.

Strength train in addition to cardio. Not only does this burn more calories throughout the day, but I think we all can agree that looking toned and healthy is way cuter than just being skin and bones. Drink a shit ton of water.

Should you start losing weight, be prepared for people NOT to be supportive. This will shock you, sadden you and make you cry–if you’re anything like me. People will try to sabotage you, talk you out of making healthy choices and in my opinion, keep you in a place that was comfortable for them. You will get made fun of when you go out to eat, you will get left out-usually the excuse will be “well you wouldn’t have eaten anything anyway!” (not true). You can’t control this-them being threatened is NOT your problem-remember that everyone has their issues and you are doing what’s right for you. If they’re you’re friends, they’ll support you. If they don’t, they can suck it. Seriously. You weren’t put on this Earth solely to make anyone else feel comfortable.

On that note, find allies! You need support, encouragement and ideas! I’m lucky that I’m good friends with guys who happen to be personal trainers, and that so many of my good friends are also living healthy lifestyles. One best friend just ran a 1/2 marathon! Yet another best friend (I’m blessed in the friend department) keeps me accountable with my gym days and is encouraging me to try yoga!  I’m inspired by them, and I hope them by me. The internet is a great resource for support as well as recipes-the health blogs are insanely amazing and I’m sure I haven’t even scratched the surface.

There is a TON more that I can tell you about what I’m doing specifically-but you have to find what works for you. You have to be ready and you have to have the right reasons to start a journey like this. It can’t just be about how you look–and I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I’m not THRILLED with how I look, because I am. I feel so much more comfortable in my skin than I EVER have, I’m stronger mentally and physically than I’ve ever been, but more importantly…

I feel like I’m finally giving my body the respect it deserves.

xoxoxoxo!!!!

Share/Bookmark

Today, I am grateful.

For…

A Best friend who shows up at my house just as I was about to need her the most…

…and tells me I need to make a phone call I don’t want to but in the same breath says, “While you’re doing it, I’ll put Jay-Z on and everything will be ok.”

Jay-Z and his music. MAGIC, I tell you.

Beer. Macaroni and cheese. CARBS! Pinkberry! All eaten WITH my personal trainer, by the way.

Said personal trainer reassuring me that it’s totes ok to eat my feelings because he’ll kick my ass bright and early the next morning. He did.

Realizing that nothing just happens. Realizing that I am surrounded by love, by people who care, who’s actions speak louder than words…and choosing NOT to allow one let down take me back to the dark place, the place where I expect this, deserve this, should have known this would happen blah blah blah. Wondering if I’ve closed the door on that dark place for good.  For now, I just choose to smile because my life, with all of it’s ups and downs, is just so GOOD…and so damn fun. On that note…

Dating like a mother-effing MAN.

Soulmates who get web cams for the sole purpose of furthering our co-dependency via Skype, and why do I feel like Chris Hansen should be knocking on my door every time I say “web cam” like I’m straight out of To Catch a Predator or something?!

Texts from San Fran, San Diego, Canada, Florida, New York-from girls who prove distance is just a state of mind and friendship laughs in the face of state lines and time zones.

Confidence that does not come from smaller dress sizes, but from within. New plans. New career goals and a network of friends ready and willing to do anything to help.

Today, I am grateful. What are you grateful for?

Last week, the world lost a beautiful girl too soon, a girl who was closer to my sister than I, someone who was just SO special. Gretchen was there for my sister when I lived far away, when my sister needed a friend the most. Gretchen always gave me a huge hug when I saw her and had a smile on her face permanently-she was a true LIFE LIVER. Quirky, silly, with such a great sense of self-I used to watch her from a far and marvel at someone who knew who she was inside and out, and wasn’t afraid of it. She embraced it. It’s so cliche’ and I fear, selfish of me to think this way, but it is yet another reminder that life is all too short, that all we have is this moment, this day to be a good friend, to say the things we should have said, to swallow our pride and apologize. To be ourselves and take chances, and LIVE every moment of this life we have been blessed with.

You can read more about Gretchen on my sister’s blog-she wrote a truly lovely tribute.

XO

Share/Bookmark

This is hard for me to write about. If you’re looking for rainbows and butterflies, this isn’t the one for you today.

For a while, it seemed I obsessed about a finding love.
I’m no longer obsessing about men, being in a relationship, getting married and having babies. What happens happens, and I have no control over that.

It seems like my “obsessing” has jumped from one ship to another. Instead of my heart, I’m obsessed with my body. One of the main reasons I haven’t been blogging/reading/commenting is because I’ve been working out so much, and while that’s a great thing, I can see, and feel myself slipping to the dark side. Another reason I’ve been avoiding blogs is because I compare myself to everyone, and I do that enough in real life, or watching TV, movies and reading fashion mags. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, and in a sea of fashion bloggers-I just felt it better to distance myself.

Talking about weight is taboo, and also so annoying, so I’m sorry. But it’s eating me alive, and hopefully by purging all of these toxic thoughts now, I can wake up tomorrow in a better place.

I’m supposed to be skinny because I used to model. I’m supposed to be skinny because companies send me clothes so I’ll do lookbooks, and then hopefully you’ll buy their products. I’m supposed to be skinny because I’ve been super skinny before, and because I live in the most superficial place on earth (or at least top 3).

I started this journey to be healthy. I started working out with a trainer and a friend (hiiii HEATHER), I overhauled my diet and began eating extremely “clean.” It didn’t happen over night, but my body started to change. Not just dress sizes, but muscles began appearing-GUN SHOW, yo. (Not exactly, but whatev.) My energy is soaring and my anxiety has been amazingly diminished.

These are all great things, and I’m damn proud of myself. My family and friends who see me all the time are proud too. I used to sleep in til 11 on Saturdays, now I’m up at 730 doing running mans and planks. I can wear things I haven’t felt comfortable in again, and this weekend was the first time I wore a bikini this year…and I felt good, with no need to cover up in a tank like I might have before.

But I’m terrified to go out to eat. I’m terrified to eat, period-but I know, I KNOW my body needs the fuel. I avoid social situations because of the food or alcohol, I find myself tossing and turning at night wondering if the 2 hours of cardio I did at the gym was enough. I get a little too happy for my liking that my collarbone is visible. I plan my day around the gym (sometimes twice a day) and getting in enough protein after my workouts. Meaning no, I can’t meet up with you after the gym even though you need to talk because I have to go home and have a protein shake and I’m sorry I’m a bad friend right now but if I go to Starbucks I’ll miss the “golden hour” during which I HAVE to have protein. I actually said that to one of my friends! Like a crazy person! Makes me want to burst into tears right now. I was invited to Vegas this weekend and my first thought was ohhhh I bet the hotel has a nice gym. WHAT THE HELL. Heather and I had plans to see Sex and the City 2 on Friday night and I almost cancelled because I felt I needed to go run stadiums-the anxiety was debilitating. Luckily, I got a grip and we had a fabulous girls night out. Thankfully, I have friends like Heather who I can tell what I’m feeling and she can drop kick me (nicely) back to reality.

If you’re close to me, as some of you are, most of our conversations, at some point circle back around to my new “lifestyle”…I love you for not telling me to shut the hell up. I also love you for telling me to take care of myself. If you’re REALLY close to me, as in see me everyday-I ask you multiple times a day how I look. I hate that I am that girl now.

I’m dating a personal trainer, and I can’t be the only one who find this oddly ironic. Life, stop it with your silly shenanigans! On our first date he went to town on some gourmet mac and cheese and I picked at a salad. (I guzzled the wine though. I mean, I haven’t completely forgotten who I am.) His body is ridiculous and now I feel the pressure is on even more. Of course, I’m completely disregarding how he mentioned he doesn’t like girls who are “too thin” and told me, “you better not lose your boobs!”

When did I go from healthy to a woman obsessed…was it when the big changes started happening? Was it 2 weekends ago when I went out with six guys and realized I held all the control, and somehow convinced myself that they would have held all the control 3 dress sizes ago? I don’t want to stop-I’m not going to stop-but I know myself enough to realize that I’m nearing a dangerous place. A place I’ve been before and a place I never thought I’d be again. A place where there is no such thing as good enough.

I received a few INCREDIBLE emails this weekend, just full of support, for no other reason than they felt I needed it. Maybe to make me feel better after making such an ass out of myself on my vlog?! They all mentioned that I empower my readers, and while that warms my heart and makes me want to keep on going…I don’t feel very empowered at the moment. I’m smart enough to know that I’m obsessed with working out and eating like a bird because everything else is always so OUT of control.  Not in a bad way, I’m happy right now-but it could go away. And that terrifies me. This is one thing I don’t have to rely on anyone for. It’s all me. Nobody can let me down.

Goals for the week-
Post this very personal blog. Opening up about this very scary subject might be all I need.
Live my life. Go wine tasting this weekend with a bestie and EAT CHEESE. Omg I miss cheese.
Love my body. Appreciate how far I can run now, how much I can lift, be excited that my insomnia has been cured naturally, etc.
Put my relationships before my “obsession.”
Listen to my body. Give it the rest, fuel, appreciation it deserves. It is not the enemy.

It is NOT the enemy.  I am good enough-no matter what size jeans I wear. And so are you. xo

Share/Bookmark

I think it’s safe to say that most of us ladies are waiting impatiently for Sex and The City 2 to come out on May 27th.  I mean, Aidan is back. I.die.  Anyways, I’ve got my girls lined up and we’re already planning who’s bringing what-bubbly, bubbly and bubbly, of course.  But we don’t have to wait til then to get the party started…I’ve got you covered from coast to coast!

First up-Where my Southern Cali girls at?! On May 20th, come join Ali and I at The Pink Carpet Soiree at Bungalow in West Hollywood…I have 4 additional tickets to giveaway! If you are in the area and would like to go, just let me know in the comments!! I’d love to see you there! I just bought my dress today.

Next up-a giveaway for everyone!  I have a gift certificate for 2 tickets to the On Location Sex and The City Hot Spots Tour in NYC to giveaway. These tickets will NEVER EXPIRE, so you can use them the next time you’re in NYC, whenever you’re there! I’m SUPER excited about my tickets and can’t get back to NYC soon enough to take advantage! Check out the highlights of the tour! Fun right?! Cupcakes, sex toys, cupcakes, shopping, cupcakes…what more could we want?!

AND ALSO…one more thing from me!  One of you will win Candace Bushnell’s prequel to Sex and The City-“The Carrie Diaries” I’ll send it from Amazon either hardcover or for your Kindle. Me thinks it’s going to be an easy, breezy lay by the pool read.  My favorite kind. 

Ok so to re-cap this SATC madness, we have up for grabs-

4 Tickets To The Fab “Pink Carpet” SATC Event in L.A, 2 Never To Expire Tickets For An Amazing SATC NYC Tour, The Carrie Diaries…and a partridge in a pear tree?!

Just leave a comment telling me something you love about Sex and the City-ehem, I’ll go first.  I love the friendships…“We made a deal ages ago. Men, babies- doesn’t matter. We’re soulmates.” LOVE! I’ll announce all the winners next Friday, May 7th.

Happy Weekend dolls! xo

Share/Bookmark

I’m baaackkk. Big thank you to my soul sister for schooling us on the art of the Cuddleslut.

Anyways, I’ve been loving writing my lil heart out over here, but I thought I’d update ya’ll on the oh so exciting life of Liz–Currently.

Currently I’m really freaking sore. Thanks to these jerks. (JK Steven, I puffy heart you.  Jillian? Nasomuch.)If you’re in Southern Cali and want Steven to kick your ass too-let me know.

Currently Reading-It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want To Be by Paul ArdenCurrently Obsessed With This Quote-

“Man, I was thinking about unrequited love. I figure it’s best to just walk that shit off. Find someone else to be excited about. It’s like if you love ice cream but your ice cream man friend won’t give you any. Maybe he’s got a good reason. It cuts into profits. Who knows? But he likes you as a friend and wants to hang out anyway. It drives you crazy to hang out with that dude, even if he’s being reasonable from his point of view. So don’t hang out with him. What, you ONLY like ice cream? It’s ice cream or nothing? Don’t be an asshole. Learn to love donuts.”

Currently Distraught-Because this dress from 80′s Purple is SOLD OUT. 80′s Purple, are you reading this?  I love you.

Currently On Repeat-Better Run Honestly, not the biggest trance, whatever fan-but it’s perfect writing music.

Currently Thinking About-Karma. I’m no Karma expert, but I keep thinking about that passage in Eat, Pray, Love where it says that once your Karma is “paid back”, you need to let it go.  I hold onto things and feel bad about them forever, but I’m currently letting things go and it feels amazing.  If the other person can’t…it’s really not my problem anymore, you know?

Currently Wanting-This Kaia Peterka “Virtue” Clutch. I first saw Jessica Szohr carrying one and I.die.  She’s becoming one of my faves–getting close to Leighton territory.
Can I Be Completely Transparent? I’m CURRENTLY feeling like I just got punched in the gut. As I’m writing this post, I got some yucky news.  Nothing huge…just enough to make me feel shitty for a hot minute and yes, I’m holding back some tears.  So here’s what I’m going to do.  I’m going to feel this. I’m going to vent a little. And then I’m going to take a deep breath and move on and remember I can’t control people and their actions.  Also? When Steven kicks my ass this afternoon, I’ll take my anger out on him.  Pretty sure he can take it.

I’m also currently over the moon that POSHGLAM published my  ”This Is Your Dream.” post. Thank you.  I’ll focus on happy stuff like that Currently.

Whats up with you, currently? Tell me, I want to know.  Love you, mean it!

Share/Bookmark

Badass is a word I use a lot over here-hence, The Badass Files. I love what it means to me, and I am not offended when someone calls me a Badass Bitch. I’m honored. A post on what being a badass bitch really means to me would never be complete without my love, Bella of Vintage Lollipops, the most badass of them all. Big heart, gorgeous soul, amazing closet but does NOT mess around. She grabs life by the balls, and inspires me in the process. And let me tell you-just writing this post has made me feel BETTER. We do not mean to offend, so switch out our filthy language for another word and our sangria for some Starbucks if you need to, as we sprinkle you with our badass fairy dust. Here is our lil collab, a tongue in cheek guide to being, yep…A BADASS BITCH.

A Badass Bitch would never...By Bella

There are moments in a woman’s life when everything is wrong, and nothing’s right… or everything is right and nothing’s wrong. And whether you’re the type that calls on a friend for support, drinks sangria from the bottle, inhales a cookie (or 5) when no one’s looking, or all of the above, we think a woman needs to be one thing… badass.

When it comes to the art of dating, more cases than not seem a careless coloring book filled with unexpected connect-the-dot conundrums to be solved and dissolved. And while the dating disasters of our time are real page turners, a badass bitch understands the notions that while women are from Venus and men are from Uranus… Venus can tell Uranus to F*** off anytime she wants. Okay, but I admit, dating is something of an exhilarating obstacle… I mean, there’s the first obligatory phone call, the first kiss, the first rush of something you swear you’ve never felt before, are certain you’ll never feel again, and the first of all the other many firsts we eventually come to either love or hate entirely.

However, a badass bitch also knows that she must always set the bar higher than the last because a girl’s just gotta have a goal. But come on, when a man proclaims his ever dying affections for you, as sophomoric as they may sound via text message, when it’s followed with, “I’ll pick you up at 7 o’clock, I’ll just stop by my parent’s house and ask for some gas money.” we’ve gotta draw the line somewhere. In this revelatory moment (because yes, this really happened), a badass bitch would never succumb to this sort of omfg nonsense. So, she takes said bar and moves on to the next. She takes the old bar and chucks it. Why? Because she can.

Because (you) She Can. ..By Liz

The badass bitch answers most questions directed towards her this way, but you must understand she never means it in a careless, screw the world kind of way. Quite the opposite, you see. The badass bitch has earned the right to say this, to believe the fundamental fact that she can do anything, have anyone, carve the life she wants for herself…because she can. Because she’s fought-not so much with others at a seedy bar, although that may have happened too, but she’s fought with herself-the hardest fight of them all. With the inner demons that hold her down, tell her she’s not good enough, pretty enough, funny enough. Or maybe she’s too pretty, too funny…nobody will take her seriously, so why try? She’s faced the broken hearts, broken heels, broken dreams we all struggle with, again and again.

Yes, the badass bitch has been there, crying on the floor, hating life, guzzling sangria out of a bottle like it’s her job. So what makes her so different, you ask? She got up the next day and decided to be fabulous, because it’s a choice, not the amount of dolla dolla bills in her bank account or the brand of her heels that make her who she is. The badass bitch knows when to ask for help. She was at the end of her proverbial rope…so then she called a friend to bring some extra over along with some bubbly and they leaned on each other. It’s a choice to be a badass bitch, to not give a damn what people think and live your life, chase your dreams, TRY AGAIN, drink your sangria, love fearlessly and KNOW YOUR WORTH. It’s a choice to demand the best, because you deserve it.

Are you a Badass Bitch? The ultimate badass bitch-ness Challenge

By your badass bitch fairy godmothers Bella and Liz

1. You’re a Badass Bitch if you can accept that women are Venus and men are from Uranus.

2. You’re a Badass Bitch if you drink sangria from a bottle. I mean, obviously.

3. You’re a Badass Bitch if you wear vintage fur, because let’s face it… the people who killed those defenseless little animals are probably dead by now.

4. You’re a Badass Bitch if you’ve ever thought about burning every single bra you’ve ever owned. (I actually set my bra and subsequently, almost my condo, on fire last week…by accident, of course. So think about it…but don’t DO it.)

5. You’re a Badass Bitch if you have at least one cyber stalker.

6. You’re a Badass Bitch if you overlook the stereotypical aspects governed by society.

7. You’re a Badass Bitch if you refuse to let your relationship status, job title, bank account define you.

8. You’re a Badass Bitch if you make the hard decisions, albeit making your own rules up along the way.

9. You’re a Badass Bitch if you (try) to never hate on other women-you’re a badass bitch, not a Mean Girl!

10. You’re a badass bitch if you’re reading this right now!

Above all, you fucking deserve to be treated like a queen, not a drama queen. You will not settle for anything less than your extraordinary worth. You will not settle, period. If a guy doesn’t call you/please you/call you/date you/show up/show down/or prove he’s deserving of your very presence… well then, ‘you just weren’t that into him anyway’. You are fucking amazing. And remember, no one said it better than Vera Donovan & Dolores Claiborne: “Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a ‘badass’ bitch is all a woman has to hold onto.”
Love always,

Liz and Bella

Share/Bookmark

Wake up one day and realize that as much as you love your family and friends, the only person you can count on is you. Wear heels at all times. Swagger.  Step on toes to get ahead. Do things you aren’t proud of. Blame it on the “industry”, blame it on “fashion”, blame it on the rain-but never take responsibility. It’s never your fault-this is your dream. Focus on the superficial. Diet, work out, shop, have cosmetic procedures done at a young age like it’s your job. Disillusion yourself to believe that it IS your job to look a certain way. Perfect the once over and the smirk. Feel a weird pang in your heart when you visit your parents and they don’t recognize you based on your attitude. Dismiss this. Stop talking to friends you grew up with, because you can’t believe they could possibly be happy at 21, married and pregnant. Meet new people, tons of new people, everyday. Reinvent yourself and shed skins of days past-never reveal you are the daughter of a former pastor and your hair hasn’t always looked so perfect.

Work. Work hard. Get THE job. You’re an executive at one of the worlds most well known fashion brands.  Your thoughts count. Spend your days in meetings with VP’s, CEO’s and Directors fighting for the creative side in a corporation-easier said than done. Witness things you only thought existed in movies. Get screamed at, have calendars thrown at you, get called horrible names, listen to lies being told by your boss and avert your eyes, while wondering how the hell you’re supposed to respect her later. Laugh at yourself for thinking your thoughts counted. Watch quietly as your work friends who aren’t in these meetings get thrown under the bus. Do not defend them.  Never once stop to think all this madness is ridiculous, that you don’t deserve this, instead berate yourself for not having a thicker skin. This is your dream.

After the meetings are over, walk back to your office with your team. Notice how silent everyone is. Or, if you’re lucky enough, walk back to your office alone. Cry.  Silently. When the building security guard stops you to check for your security badge (which you refuse to wear because it’s fugly) scream at him. Tell him to go fuck himself. Apologize profusely. Cry harder, tell him he is such a nice guy and you know he was only doing his job and you are so sorry and you never do that but that meeting was the worst and you’ll never forget your badge again and how is his wife?

Become so ashamed of yourself.  Leave the building in a daze. Sit in your car and call a friend you trust, listen to her go on and lecture you about how you should never go back, you can find another job, “ELIZABETH THIS IS INSANE LISTEN TO YOURSELF”. She doesn’t understand, this is your dream. Decide not to listen to her, or yourself, and instead, toughen up. Go back in, refusing to feel like failure.

Get invited to more parties, networking events and openings than you can possibly attend. Forget about the hell of the work day as you bypass the lines and say, “Im on the list” in your perfected tone, dragging your girls with you, wearing a new dress you “borrowed” from the sample closet. Wonder if your girls would be hanging out with you if it weren’t for all the perks. You learned that trusting girls and living this dream do not go hand in hand. Laugh. Dance. Drink. Talk shit on all the guys in their deep V American Apparel shirts showing more cleav than you.

Back at work the next day, conduct interviews, model castings and meet with editors from Vogue, In Style and Elle. Walk through the lobby to greet them with such an air of self importance it will, when blogging about it a few years later, make you want to vom. Watch how they look at you, get off on the envy. Feel embarrassed writing this now.

Start to really dislike yourself and feel your anxiety soar. You have lost yourself. Do not blame it on the industry, fashion, or the rain. Blame yourself. Take responsibility. Make changes. Cut ties. Recognize you can’t undo the damage overnight…There are repercussions for your actions, patterns you’ll have to break. Know that underneath the 5 inch heels and hair and makeup and clothes, you’re a nice girl with a big heart. Find solace in that, hold on to that in the times when you feel lost the most. Feel the disappointment in yourself.  Embrace it.  Allow it to make you want to, need to be better.

Reinvent yourself again…re-pave your road, not just with mascara but with a vision of what kind of person you want to be. Decide not to run away from fashion, IT IS YOUR DREAM, but become determined to run things your way. Wear heels at all times. Your thoughts DO count. Work. Work HARD. Always remember that day you screamed at a security guard as one of your worst moments but never forget it. Forgive yourself.  Remember what you love about fashion. Continue to make fun of guys wearing deep V American Apparel shirts who show more cleav than you. Struggle with female relationships, and work on breaking that pattern. Hold on to the girls you can trust and never let them go. Start writing and sharing your experiences and the little things you love with the world. Swagger. Evolve. Love.

It’s all part of MY dream.

Share/Bookmark

This week totally got away from me and I forgot to announce the Covergirl giveaway winners…Sarah at A Life More Exciting, Jamie at La vie…j’aime and Lindsay at Bella Cene’. I will email you ladies-congrats! xo

Both images Via

Just a lil blessed list…because I need one…

So many amazing opportunities lately.  The lil red light I see blinking on my bberry every 2 seconds?  That?  Is a blessing. Not a burden.

Quotes/reminders/ass kickers like this from my current favorite book (and one of the most thoughtful gifts I’ve ever received) “If You Have To Cry, Go Outside. And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You.” by Kelly Cutrone. P.S. Nina did a great review of this book, and all I have to say is AGREED. P.S.S GAWD I LOVE KELLY CUTRONE.

“If anyone really wanted to change the world, they’d bring in the fashion bitches, because nobody gets things done faster.” Amen.

Friends who make me laugh, buy me copious amounts of champagne (Kelly), challenge, listen, encourage, hug, accept and love.

On that note-absolutely ridiculous g-chat conversations and emails that get me through the day.

New nail polish, perfect for spring.

Butterflies. Magic words. Plans. Faith.

Why were you blessed this week?  Tell me, tell me.

Happy Weekend, lovers!

Share/Bookmark

My love affair with Mandizzle is a pretty dirty one. I want everything in Mandi’s Etsy shop, and I know that if we didn’t live so far away, we’d totes be skipping through fields holding hands with fabulous headbands in our unbeweavable hair. Truth.

Seriously though-Mandizzle and the beautiful Mandi have been such a huge support to me, both on the blog and off, and while I appreciate her crafty ways, because lord knows I don’t have any, I appreciate her friendship even more.

Ok…and that? Is PMS. I mean, Mandi dude, I love you but I’m near tears. OMG. Anyways!

Mandi is generously offering the following from her Etsy Shop to one of YOU-

The Dreamy Headband (we can talk colors if you win)
And either a set of hair pins or a ring. I’m partial to the Wild Rose Ring…
Or the Prettiest Hair Pins-Black Raspberry Blooms (Set of 3)
But that’s just me! You can choose whatever ring or hair pin set you want, along with the Dreamy.

Le Rules…

1.Open to followers of It’s Unbeweavable-however, seriously, I don’t care. This is a thank you to my readers-so just let me know how you follow in the comments.

2. Become a follower of Mandizzle’s blog (if you already are, lemme know)

3. Check out her Etsy-what ring or hair pin set would you want?

4. Become a follower of Mandizzle on twitter/re-blog/tweet this giveaway-I’m @misslizzymarie

5. There are tons of ways to enter, and I hate to be a pain but pleasepleaseplease leave a separate comment for each entry, it will just make my date with Excel next weekend that much easier.

Note-I’m keeping all the giveaways open all week, so you can keep entering. I’ve been planning this week for a while so don’t be shy-this is my way of saying thank you. Day 1′s $100 G/C to Faire Frou Frou is here, if you missed it. See you tomorrow! xoxo

Just found out Mandizzle is nominated in the Poppies-vote for her here! Woot!

Share/Bookmark