Infographic by WeLoveDates Online Dating

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<p><a href=”http://www.welovedates.com/blog/” mce_href=”http://www.welovedates.com/blog/”><img src=”http://www.welovedates.com/images/online-dating-infographic.jpg” mce_src=”http://www.welovedates.com/images/online-dating-infographic.jpg” border=”0″ alt=”Online Dating Infographic” /></a></p> <p>Infographic by <a href=”http://www.welovedates.com/” mce_href=”http://www.welovedates.com/”>WeLoveDates Online Dating</a></p> <p>

So you guys know that I write for We Love Dates, right? Duh. Last month we held a little survey about online dating, and voila here are the results.  Thanks for playing along. The 80% trips me out! Well, the 80% got me thinking (oh noes), and a slightly bat shit crazy idea came to mind. A dating experiment, if you will. I’ll be explaining more about what I’m doing on WLD this week-so this is totally just me being a tease. I’ve heard that one before. I will tell you that I’ll be channeling my inner Kate Hudson ala’ How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days and I’m up for the challenge. “Benny boo boo boooo” (see the movie if you don’t get that reference). Feel free to share the infographic

XOXO
Happy Monday Lovers.

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On We Love Dates today, I wrote a post I’m pretty damn proud of.  Why I Don’t Believe That If He’s Not Calling Me, He’s Not Thinking About Me.A watched phone never rings. Or something. And stuff. Don’t worry. He likes you.

Check my post out? I love you! XOXO

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Ohhhh haiiiii…
I MISS YOU. A little over 2 weeks of no blogging, barely any blog reading, rarely tweeting (although I made up for that this weekend like WHOA)…and a lot of thinking about what to do with this lil piece of mine.

First things first though-WHAT A WEEKEND. You know when you’re all, I just want to lay out by the pool and be mellow…and then you find yourself on 6 dates (some with the same person), staying out until 6am (I’m too old for this shit), running bleachers, shopping with the gay bff and buying a romper (A ROMPER. I have this new body kinda…and I guess that means confidence…which I guess means rompers? Help), meeting tons of new people, drinking, drinking, drinking, and then drunk tweeting oops, explaining said drunk tweets to your nearest and dearest girls who are all WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?, making out, and at the end of the 3 day madness cuddling on the couch with a hot guy who just seems to fit, watching the Bachelorette and laughing at his impersonations of  ”the weather man”, making plans for the future and wondering how the hell this happened?

Yep, yep. That’s me. Right now. If this is any indication of how Summer is going to be…I like what I’m seeing. I like it a lot. Starbucks drive-thru fish face with John-pre Whitney Houston sing a long, and yeah he’s wearing a headband.May I recommend some Fat Cat Pinot Noir? Meow.I’m dating a personal trainer. With an MBA. Who watches the Bachelorette with me. Just…let me be happy.

Anyways. I’m sure ya’ll are on pins and needles about what I’m going to do with my blog.  Well.  I’m not leaving you, but I am moving.  To Tumblr.  The last two weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about It’s Unbeweavable!, and what it means to me, and what I can realistically keep up with.  I can’t imagine my life without you (I wish I could quit you), but I also LOVE LIVING MY LIFE, without worrying about taking photos of every moment, or spilling my heart and soul out just for the sake of giving a good read.  On my new site, I’ll be doing more of a “Lifecast”-some days I’ll write, some days I’ll throw up a picture of my new romper, etc.  I’m getting it all set up, and I’ll let you know when it’s ready to go and I hope you like it!!  This is inspired by my all time favorite blogger, Julia Allison. So NO ABSOLUTELY NOT RETIRING!!! You’re stuck with me.

Anyways…I’m still here for now! And on We Love Dates!

Love you, mean it.  I hope you are all doing amazing.  I wish I could express how much you have touched my life over the past year and a half-there just aren’t enough words.xoxo

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My new post is up at We Love Dates…6 Things NOT To Do On A First Date.Check it out…let me know what you think the worst thing you can do on a first date is. xoxo

Ohh and P.S. LOVING the comments on my Currently post-some are happy, sad, mad, funny-thank you for sharing. We’re all in this together.   Life you sooo crazy.

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After yet ANOTHER exhausting weekend of getting the guys in my phone confused and possibly forgetting their names (because I give everyone a nickname and now there are too many and why is every guy named CHRIS?! OR RYAN?) I realized I am failing miserably at this cuddleslut business–it was time to bring in reinforcements. I’ll let her do the rest of the talking. Take notes!

Rule Number One:

The first rule of cuddleslut, is do not talk about cuddleslut… Just kidding. The first rule is:

A badass bitch does not settle. Do you hear that? She does. not. settle.

Let it sink in. Let it marinate for a few seconds. Now never forget it.

Do not settle for:
- someone else’s boyfriend
- a cheater
- a liar
- a chain-smoking, online-poker playing, borderline alcoholic with Peter Pan Syndrome (my bad, that was me, I hopped on the bitter train for a second)
- fuckfaces
- douchelords
- anyone who reminds you the tiniest bit of Chris Brown or Kevin Federline or Jesse James

A cuddleslut is never desperate, she is the exact opposite. She makes boys desperate, hoping for just a minute of her precious time.

Rule Number Two:

Quantity versus Quality. What do I mean by that, exactly?

I’m not telling you to say yes to every. single. dude. that asks for your digits. But I’m telling you not to be super picky. A very wise (and sexy) young woman once said “Step out of your dating comfort zone.”

If your gut reaction to a guy was “no”, take a second to evaluate why. If it’s something silly like his shoes, get off your high horse and give the dude the benefit of the doubt.

But if your gut reaction was “no, no, hell no!” because you just saw him mackin’ on a dead ringer for babyslut Taylor Momsen or he’s wearing a t-shirt that says “Federal Breast Inspector” (or worse yet, Ed Hardy) then by all means, go with your instincts girl. Pass!

We have to cuddle with a lot of frogs before we find our prince.

If tall, dark and handsome isn’t working out for you, try another flavor. As a matter of fact, taste the rainbow. Sample every flavor. Medium, blonde and stubbly. Mmmmm.

Rule Number Three:

“Be yourself. Those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter,
don’t mind.”
~ Dr. Suess

Hell-ohhh-o, he knows his shit. Dr. Suess, was after all, a doctor.

Let your freak flag fly!

If you want to wear night eye makeup in the day sometimes, do it.
If you want to drink beer and not martinis, do it.
If you want to wear flats to the bar sometimes, do it.
If you want to wear ski socks under your sexy boots, ’cause it’s damn cold outside, do it.
If you want to drink cocktails from a Paul Frank mug on New Years Eve, do it.
If you want to get a fuchsia credit card from a swanky department store, that you will rarely be able to use, just because it’s pink, do it.
If you want to wear pajamas to your own birthday party, f’ing dooooo it. (Yes, some or all of this might be coming from personal experience. I’m weird and that’s why everyone some wicked awesome people love me.)
If you want to wear sweats to the bar, for the love of God, don’t freaking do that.

Be yourself. That way, you will always know that the people that love you, are loving you for you.

Rule Number Four:

Juggle, with honesty and confidence.

So now you’re runnin’ around, having the time of your life. Texting like a fiend. Dating like a man, but still crossing your legs like a lady. Cuddle to your heart’s content. (Make sure you can keep them all straight, unlike some people I know.)

Be up front, you’re not tied down to one guy in particular. Don’t hate the player, hate the game and all that bull shit, is just that, bull shit. Have integrity. Be able to look yourself in the mirror.

Do not become their housewife, their rent-a-girlfriend or their *shudder* “buddy” (unless you want to be in the friends-zone). Do not become Justin Bobby and kiss the black lipstick wearing drunkslut in the bar yards away from Audrina… or you know… situation with genders reversed.

If you decide someone in the rotation is not worth your time, because they turned out to be a douchetard, or you’re just not feeling it, take the appropriate action. Be honest. Be nice. (Unless they don’t deserve it. In which case, be brutal and tell them to go reflect on what an asshole they are.) (Liz here-bwhahahahaha…totes did that! He deserved it, trust.)

But if he’s a nice guy, just not for you, say so.

I Hate (that’s right, with a capital H) to just stop all communication guy. It’s shitty and it’s a cop out. I think a semi-decent guy is owed in the very least a text that says “I have fun, but I don’t feel the right connection. I hope you understand.” And most of the time he’ll suck it up and say that he does… understand… even if he doesn’t and he’s about to go drink a 12-pack and cry to his BFF.

And while we’re on the topic of honesty, the second that you do decide to pick a lucky winner from the bunch and lock that shit down, you need to let the other guys know. Or, you can do what I did and change your facebook status. Let all the assholes know what’s up be a grown up (not!) and stop returning their texts.

Rule Number Five:

Be safe. This is a two parter.

“Keep it loose. Except for your vagina. Keep that shizz, tight at all times.”

~ Alexi

Duh!

Get your ass on the pill, the needle, the sponge, double bag it, I don’t care. Don’t be someone’s baby mama.

Also, handle your heart with care. The second a dude displays less than admirable qualities either call him on it, or cut his ass loose. (See #4)

Please understand that I am by no means a doctor (like the all-knowing Suess) or an expert. I am just a freckle-faced, foul-mouthed blogger/former-cuddleslut with an axe to grind experience to share, jokes to tell and time on my hands. Lots and lots of time on my hands. Please forward any and all complaints to my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. Just kidding, show us some love! What the hell else am I going to do while I’m at work this week, but catch up on your comments.

Isn’t she amazing? I will make her proud as Cuddleslut 2.oh. Happy Week, lovers. xoxo

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Badass is a word I use a lot over here-hence, The Badass Files. I love what it means to me, and I am not offended when someone calls me a Badass Bitch. I’m honored. A post on what being a badass bitch really means to me would never be complete without my love, Bella of Vintage Lollipops, the most badass of them all. Big heart, gorgeous soul, amazing closet but does NOT mess around. She grabs life by the balls, and inspires me in the process. And let me tell you-just writing this post has made me feel BETTER. We do not mean to offend, so switch out our filthy language for another word and our sangria for some Starbucks if you need to, as we sprinkle you with our badass fairy dust. Here is our lil collab, a tongue in cheek guide to being, yep…A BADASS BITCH.

A Badass Bitch would never...By Bella

There are moments in a woman’s life when everything is wrong, and nothing’s right… or everything is right and nothing’s wrong. And whether you’re the type that calls on a friend for support, drinks sangria from the bottle, inhales a cookie (or 5) when no one’s looking, or all of the above, we think a woman needs to be one thing… badass.

When it comes to the art of dating, more cases than not seem a careless coloring book filled with unexpected connect-the-dot conundrums to be solved and dissolved. And while the dating disasters of our time are real page turners, a badass bitch understands the notions that while women are from Venus and men are from Uranus… Venus can tell Uranus to F*** off anytime she wants. Okay, but I admit, dating is something of an exhilarating obstacle… I mean, there’s the first obligatory phone call, the first kiss, the first rush of something you swear you’ve never felt before, are certain you’ll never feel again, and the first of all the other many firsts we eventually come to either love or hate entirely.

However, a badass bitch also knows that she must always set the bar higher than the last because a girl’s just gotta have a goal. But come on, when a man proclaims his ever dying affections for you, as sophomoric as they may sound via text message, when it’s followed with, “I’ll pick you up at 7 o’clock, I’ll just stop by my parent’s house and ask for some gas money.” we’ve gotta draw the line somewhere. In this revelatory moment (because yes, this really happened), a badass bitch would never succumb to this sort of omfg nonsense. So, she takes said bar and moves on to the next. She takes the old bar and chucks it. Why? Because she can.

Because (you) She Can. ..By Liz

The badass bitch answers most questions directed towards her this way, but you must understand she never means it in a careless, screw the world kind of way. Quite the opposite, you see. The badass bitch has earned the right to say this, to believe the fundamental fact that she can do anything, have anyone, carve the life she wants for herself…because she can. Because she’s fought-not so much with others at a seedy bar, although that may have happened too, but she’s fought with herself-the hardest fight of them all. With the inner demons that hold her down, tell her she’s not good enough, pretty enough, funny enough. Or maybe she’s too pretty, too funny…nobody will take her seriously, so why try? She’s faced the broken hearts, broken heels, broken dreams we all struggle with, again and again.

Yes, the badass bitch has been there, crying on the floor, hating life, guzzling sangria out of a bottle like it’s her job. So what makes her so different, you ask? She got up the next day and decided to be fabulous, because it’s a choice, not the amount of dolla dolla bills in her bank account or the brand of her heels that make her who she is. The badass bitch knows when to ask for help. She was at the end of her proverbial rope…so then she called a friend to bring some extra over along with some bubbly and they leaned on each other. It’s a choice to be a badass bitch, to not give a damn what people think and live your life, chase your dreams, TRY AGAIN, drink your sangria, love fearlessly and KNOW YOUR WORTH. It’s a choice to demand the best, because you deserve it.

Are you a Badass Bitch? The ultimate badass bitch-ness Challenge

By your badass bitch fairy godmothers Bella and Liz

1. You’re a Badass Bitch if you can accept that women are Venus and men are from Uranus.

2. You’re a Badass Bitch if you drink sangria from a bottle. I mean, obviously.

3. You’re a Badass Bitch if you wear vintage fur, because let’s face it… the people who killed those defenseless little animals are probably dead by now.

4. You’re a Badass Bitch if you’ve ever thought about burning every single bra you’ve ever owned. (I actually set my bra and subsequently, almost my condo, on fire last week…by accident, of course. So think about it…but don’t DO it.)

5. You’re a Badass Bitch if you have at least one cyber stalker.

6. You’re a Badass Bitch if you overlook the stereotypical aspects governed by society.

7. You’re a Badass Bitch if you refuse to let your relationship status, job title, bank account define you.

8. You’re a Badass Bitch if you make the hard decisions, albeit making your own rules up along the way.

9. You’re a Badass Bitch if you (try) to never hate on other women-you’re a badass bitch, not a Mean Girl!

10. You’re a badass bitch if you’re reading this right now!

Above all, you fucking deserve to be treated like a queen, not a drama queen. You will not settle for anything less than your extraordinary worth. You will not settle, period. If a guy doesn’t call you/please you/call you/date you/show up/show down/or prove he’s deserving of your very presence… well then, ‘you just weren’t that into him anyway’. You are fucking amazing. And remember, no one said it better than Vera Donovan & Dolores Claiborne: “Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a ‘badass’ bitch is all a woman has to hold onto.”
Love always,

Liz and Bella

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via thanks to the beauty file

It’s hot in here.

Possibly because I currently have 3 appliances plugged in (blow dryer, flat iron, curling iron), all to achieve the effortless waves you like so much, and I realize that the next time I want to deny that I am high maintenance, I’ll just effing sigh in resignation. I concede.

I wonder if I’ll ever be a “wash and wear” hair kind of girl, and if not what does that say about me? Decide not to give it a second thought. Decide not to care what people think if I include that in a blog post. For now, it means I’ll have pretty princess hair for the day, so WIN.

I wonder if I can tell you how happy I am that you’re here. I wonder if it’s too soon to tell you that lately my blessings are feeling like burdens, but I’m working on it-I wonder if you’ll understand what I mean and not judge me. I wonder if you’ll care that a broken friendship of mine is mending and that makes me really happy. I wonder if you’ll ask the right questions, say the right things-I wonder how I’ll react when you don’t. I wonder what will happen when you read the.blog.

Make-up time. It’s amazing what a little Nars Orgasm blush can do. Orgasm. I wonder what it will be like…

I wonder what it will be like when I stop wondering and just know. Know exactly what you smell like after a shower, or when you wake up, or come home from a bike ride and my fabulous, albeit yoga pants clad ass pauses the Kardashians long enough to give you a hug, because I don’t care that you’re sweaty. In fact, I kinda love it. I wonder what it will be like when you know all my friends names, faces and life stories, who’s fighting with who and who’s opinions really matter, who (or who’s boyfriend) will come after you with a hockey stick if you hurt me. I wonder what it will be like when you have coffee (or a martini, knowing her) with my sister, alone, because she’s my world and I’m your world and they’re colliding.

I wonder what it will be like when we bridge the communication gap, the distance gap, the schedule gap. I wonder if we’ll ever completely bridge every.single.gap life throws at us, and I doubt it. I decide again not to worry about it, and instead just hold on to your hand tighter and jump. I decide that if I’m going to be doing all this jumping around, I should do it in style, so I buy these jeans. Something about jumping around screams, “BUY THE HUNTER BOOTS“ to me, so I do. I mean, maybe with all this jumping I’ll land in a puddle, and a girl has got to protect herself.

And if I stumble into that puddle sans the hunter boots, would you lay your coat over it to save my pink satin stilettos?

I wonder…

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Oh, hi. It’s my birthday. So remember when I was all ohhh I miss you and I’m totes attacking your blogs with a vengeance and making WordPress my bitch and then I didn’t? Well, you can’t be mad at me because it’s my birthday and I make the rules.  All that stress from last week is now revealing itself in the form of a flu/cold and attacking my shitshow of an immune system.  I’ve been rilly busy anxiously watching the Olympics (I freak when they fall!), and guzzling theraflu. OH, and I was just brought the Canadian version of theraflu, because it’s stronger. So thats fitting, no? Get it?

Ok.

It’s Feb 17th-and…I was born 19 years ago. Do you believe that? REALLY? Although! I was at the DMV last week for 6 hours of my life I’d love to get back and they asked if I was there to take my drivers license test for the first time and I decided to take this as a sign that all the money I spend on “age prevention” is totally working and my Sephora purchases are completely justified. RATHER than I look like complete hell/jailbait without makeup and hair and the whole nine.

Anyways.

So, I’m sick today. Whatever. It’s Wednesday and not much is going on, just MY BIRTHDAY.  And perhaps pancakes with Kelly at 1 am, cuz that’s how we roll. Friday begins THREE CONSECUTIVE WEEKENDS of what I like to call “Jesus be a fence or cheers to making some bad decisions.”

This weekend-birthday and bloggy fun, Cali style. Next weekend-birthday and bloggy fun, VEGAS STYLE. My two worlds colliding. With Ali! And Kathleen! Blog friends turned “real lifers” my life would be empty without are rallying 2 weekends in a row. Glorious. Here’s to topless vampire revues and dancing on the bar at Coyote Ugly like it’s my job.

And then…a round trip plane ticket to San Fran showed up in my inbox. From a boy who is sneaking his way into my heart. HOW SWOON WORTHY IS THAT?  So I’ll be in SF the first weekend in March. I’ll be fairly busy making out with his hotness, but if you want to get coffee or a shot, let me know.

SO YEAH. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! And my twin sister of course! I don’t have any revelations or deep thoughts on this birthday-I just want to have FUN. A little magical fun. Good goal, right?

Breaking news-new computer arrived as I’m typing this post…so, it’s OFFICIAL this time. I’m back, dolls. God, I’m so addicted to the internet it’s absurd. Have a lovely Liz’s birthday day!

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Do you guys realize that as of 10:30 pm PST, BLOGGERS have raised over $2000 for Love Harder? That Love Harder has over 100 FB fans? That today alone over THREE HUNDRED bloggers posted a “Love Harder” post? That the system crashed today because there were so many people trying to donate at once? It’s truly amazing what this community of ours can do when used for good.

In other, muchmuchmuch less important internet news…allow me to share a little convo I had this evening with one of the penis variety, and no I do not have permission but I also had no blogspiration, so sorry, Mr. Wonderful. Punish me later.

{Not him. But it’s just effing adorable.}

Backstory-texted him “Look up the Dear John trailer”

IN OTHER EFFING AMAZING NEWS- LILU IS COMING LILU IS COMING!! TO ME! THIS WEEKEND! Gonna lick her face! Also? Apparently Thursdays are the new Friday’s over here? I dunno. Friday is just a good day for me to catch up with ya’ll. So HAPPY WEEKEND…have fun, be safe….Tell someone you love them.

Prepare for 5 days of FABULOUS giveaways next week! It’s my blog birthday!
Lauren of The Offbeat Report is the winner of the WiNK tee, I’ll email you!

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I know my regular posting schedule has been way off, and it might stay that way, but rest assured-I am NOT going anywhere. Except to WordPress, booyah. Anyways, during last week’s nonsense, so many of you kindly sent emails that I am still replying to, and one was from one of my favorite bloggers The Novelista Barista, offering to write something for me because she knew I was having a rough time. Plus, the subject she was hoping to write about is something I am A) Dealing with and B) Can’t really talk about, ugh dating. But she can, and she did…and I adore this post.

You know it has.
You have seen it happen.
It probably happened to you.
There is no denying that facebook, myspace, linked in, blogs are ruining relationships. You are basically cyber-relationship screwed. Facebook has destroyed serious relationships for many close friends of mine. How you ask? (or this might have already happened to you!)

Well let’s start with the stalker wall feed that they have. Everyone, regardless of if you want them to know or not, can see everything that you do on facebook in their wall feed, without even having to blink their eyes, it appears before them. So if you boyfriend is friends with you on facebook and some guy you hooked up with before him hits you up on facebook before you have a chance to delete the wall post, the BOYFRIEND is going to see it because facebook wants you to break up! And now what sort of problems does that bring to your relationship?

guy-”Why is that guy hitting you up on facebook?”
girl- We dont even talk anymore, I dont know!
guy- You must have written something on his wall or sent him a message, show me his wall!
girl- I am not showing you his wall! That is ridiculous, I dont know why he contacted me!

Ending: Big huge fight.

And that goes both ways. It very well happens as women, we tend to get jealous of other girls, especially on someone we are datings facebook or myspace page. If you aren’t necessarily friends with them, you wonder why they are writing to your boyfriend “just wanted to say hi!”. Although the boyfriend cannot control this, you still get angry and fight it out until he either A)removes her from his facebook and blocks all contact with her B) you send her a message on facebook telling her to stay the F away from him, or C) Break up because you will never move past this point in your relationship again.

The worst part after the wall writing would be the tagging of the photos. This is the danger zone and sometimes when people tag you, they don’t even realize that they just planted a bomb right in the middle of your relationship that is just ticking waiting for the other to see this said tagged picture.

This picture, could be you doing absolutely nothing, but if you are in another picture with the opposite sex and it is not your BEST friend, prepare for some sort of jealousy. Granted not everyone is as jealous as others but it is still not the favored topic of conversation.
Now take for instance how the internet has changed dating people you have never met. With the help of Match.com, Eharmony.com, Jdate.com; you can see what people look like and know everything about them even before you meet them!

I mean, blind dating? I don’t think so!!! If you don’t have a facebook, myspace, twitter, blog or something.. basically you don’t exist. Then you check to see if you can see anything on their page, and if not, you try another network. It is a crazy, easily informed era we have going on here. And I am most definitely a huge part of it.

Even when I am looking for employers I facebook the company to see if anyone actually does work there or not. That’s usually how I know if I should even bother to consider applying completely for the position. And then LinkedIn? PAH…. Before going on a job interview, you can linkedin & facebook stalk the employees of who you’re meeting with and know where they worked, where they graduated from college and what they do at their job even before you meet them! It is sort of crazy if you think about it.

So lastly (because I could go on for hours about how many of my friends relationships have had drama due to facebook!), you take our blogs. This is the place where you can write whatever you want and you can pick and choose who you want to read the material (telling your friends or people you know). I have chosen to tell only a select few due to the fact that I still need to write about things that are happening in my life and I can’t write about the people who are READING my blog!!! An example– my ex-boyfriend, T, (you can read ALL about him HERE) he never knew that I had a blog. Granted we were on the outs and that was the only way that I could write about how I was really feeling, but oh my god, if he ever read how I really felt, he would have had a heart attack.

I love social networking, really. I don’t even know how we communicated with people.. I guess beepers were the “text messages” of the 90s and AIM was the google chat of the 90s. But facebook? AOL profiles had NOTHING on facebook!

Even though it has ruined our lives, ruined our friendships, our relationships and ruined our privacy, millions of people still continue to love social networking every single day. And as we love it more and more… the internet is determined to keep ruining our relationships, every wall update at a time.

Thanks love!

How do you guys feel? For me, I’m thinking of unlinking my blog and my FB. I have a mild to moderate panic attack when a guy I’m just starting to get to know finds my blog, and I stress over the things guys write on my FB wall. She’s right! There is NO such thing as blind dating anymore! It’s like the email I just sent her telling her I was about to post-

“Hey honey, going to post early. Going out with a guy I can’t blog about tonight.”

Also? HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN. I adore you!!

And? The WiNK Tee Giveaway is here til Friday.

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