“I believe in WONDERFUL THINGS, and GRAND GESTURES, and AMAZING PEOPLE and loving with reckless abandon and putting yourself on the line when it counts.”-From the post I put up on Saturday, and subsequently, removed on Sunday.
I have never, ever deleted a blog post in the year + I’ve been holding it down over here. I’ve freaked out after hitting publish, and asked friends, “Ohhh maybe I should take that down?” But I never have, because my thinking was, well this is how I feel NOW. This is what I’m going through NOW, at this moment. Maybe this will help someone, or maybe I’m not alone.
Saturday I posted-probably one of my most personal posts ever…and Sunday morning I took it down. Not because I was afraid of what you guys would say-because the comments I had already received were amazing and supportive, but because it is just too painful for me to read, over and over. Too hard to get your wonderful comments on my blackberry and be reminded of what a very dark place I was in Saturday afternoon. Â Too much, too soon. I also want to protect this-him-it, if I can. I will always use this blog as my place to vent, cry, share, inspire, laugh, be inspired…and I’m going to continue to write very personal posts, but at the right time.
Timing is everything…a lesson I am learning, the hard way. I’m learning how to be patient, and allowing myself to feel things completely without it resulting in a dramatic, unhealthy knee jerk reaction because some feelings are just so hard to understand and I really like understanding, and I get off on putting things in their respective boxes and handling shit and getting it done and making sure nobody is upset with me ever, and wanting answers NOW, and wanting him to love me NOW, and I hate it when you think things are o.k, but they actually really aren’t, and I thought I knew how I felt about this or him or it, but oh oh oh look, I actually DON’T and it’s all very exhausting. Â See?
I know this post isn’t any less vague than the one I took down, and I apologize. Â I do thank you for the emails, comments and tweets from those of you who noticed something was a little off with me this weekend. Â Never, ever think for one second they don’t lift me up.
What do I do now? Â I’m taking all these feelings that I don’t understand and giving them the time they deserve. Â I’m letting go of situations I have zero power over and allowing the cupcakes to land where they may. Â Giving myself time…and I’m going to be kind to myself. Â Think about what I ACTUALLY WANT. I’m going to work! And work out with Steven 5x a week starting today! Â And cry if I have to-either from my feelings or from Steven ha. Â And sooner, rather than later, this shitty weekend will be a distant memory-but hopefully the lessons I learned won’t be. Â I hope they are front and center. No matter what…
“I believe in WONDERFUL THINGS, and GRAND GESTURES, and AMAZING PEOPLE and loving with reckless abandon and putting yourself on the line when it counts.”
Love to you all…and sending positive thoughts to us all for an amazing week. xo
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You the bestest Liz…don’t let anyone tell you different!! Sending lots of loves and hugs your way!!
xoxoxox
Beautiful. Glad you kept my favorite quote
LOVE YOU
xo
You can do as you please my friend… and maybe just getting that out, posting it, deleting it… well it all has its purpose right? Everything happens for a reason. I know… we’ve all heard that a million times – well it’s the truth.
So feel the way you want to feel.
Write what you want to write.
And just be sure to take care of you. Because really? That’s the only person that matters. Everything else figures itself out…
Love ya lady!
Oh hon ~ I’m always sending you the most positive energy there is in this great big universe we all share together! Wishing you much love and happiness because you so deserve every single ounce and more!
As much as I love that quote, I have to add – I believe in YOU!
Now, please go follow your own damn advice. LOVE you! xxSAS
I LOVE YOU and I’m sending good vibes, prayers, and hugs your way. Everything WILL get better, it’s all part of the bigger picture. And I don’t blame you for taking down the post, sometimes you have to deal with your emotions alone before you share them with the world.
xoxoxoxo
Awww, Liz. This is beautiful. I’d read the other post but hadn’t had a chance to comment, and was wonderful. This is explains it all–and I totally feel you. I am so sorry that you had such an emotional weekend. I truly hope things work out for you soon. I know how troubling matters of the heart can be–when I am heartsick, I can kiss normal life goodbye. I can’t eat/sleep/talk/think/laugh/read/NOTHING when my heart is in a shaky place. Anyway. Here’s wishing you all the best, and to knowing that even if it doesn’t feel like it, things always have a way of working themselves out. <3
Oh Lizzy, I wish I had words to soothe the heartache you’re feeling… or were, over the weekend… the paragraph that starts with “Timing is everything…” hit me hard. I want answers, I want to understand WHY, I don’t want people upset at me ever, too… the only thing that works for me (read: don’t lose my mind completely) is taking it one day at a time… and sometimes one moment at a time.
LOTS of love and hugs and understanding!
xoxo J
Much love sweets, you’ll get through it. I know as strong women it’s hard to face the tough times, especially when you don’t understand them. Keep your head up…it’s a pretty one!
I personally believe when someone lets go of something or someone, it means that you’re no longer in denial, you’ve come to terms with whatever demons have been eating you, and you’re ready to move on.
I really admire you because you’re not afraid to face your problems and deal with them you do. That’s a strong woman signature. ;p
Being true to yourself is the best gift you can ever give to yourself.
i noticed the ‘emoweavable’ tweets this weekend but didn’t catch the post. I hope you’re feeling better! hang in there, sweets. totally corny but…. tough times don’t last but tough people do. <333
first off, i had to read that post before you took it down. it’s such a shame for me not to make it! so i don’t know what was going on over there on the weekend but now i’m mad at myself for not being there.. for not being able to comfort you on time.. for not being able to say that I LOVE YOU AND YOU HAVE ME HERE WHENEVER YOU NEED.. sorry for that sweetheart..
i would love to know if there’s anything i can do for you honey.. please just email me ok?? do that.. literally.. i’m not saying this just to “say”..
hope you’re doing much better Liz.. i really hope that.. sincerely..
love
xoxo
I’m a lot like you are. I’m a planner. I want to know what’s going to happen and what’s going on and what I can do about it right NOW. I was stuck in this horrible limbo place for awhile when my boyfriend and I broke up and it killed me. I wanted him to love me know and he just….didn’t. Eventually everything looked up for me and I really hope it does for you too, you deserve the best.
Great. Now I want cupcakes.
Also….. very sorry I missed emoweavable post. But I already said everything I needed to say this weekend, on BBM. HALLELUJAH, AMEN.
You’re on a new mission. You can do this, and gosh darn it people like you, *ahem* LOVE you. Lots.
I’m wishing you a good week too. I clearly don’t know what went on this weekend, but if you need a good ear or eye (on the g chat screen), you know where to find me. I hope only yummy cupcakes fall right into your lap from this point forward. I’m certainly hoping they fall into mine, pretty much everyday these days.
xoxoxo
Had to add this- about cupcakes because it’s too good not to share:
http://www.thedebonaire.com/2010/05/cupcake-cannon.html
This is a gorgeous post, Liz. I hope you feel better, and get everything figured out, soon.
Wine! Cheese! Some bad Katherine Heigl movie! And me in your bed! That’s all we really need
Love you.
I love you because you are beautiful…both outside and in. Don’t ever forget that.
You are my soul sister, love you lots!! You truly are an amazing person, and much stronger than you give yourself credit for!!
Whatever’s going on, I hope it sorts itself out soon. In the meantime, like someone said above, there’s wine, cheese, and shitty movies. And leftover Easter chocolate. And $3 face masks from the drugstore. These make everything a little better!
I’ve deleted a post before too when it just got a little too personal…
Hope whatever your going through that it gets better soon.
xoxo
you have the right to delete any post you want, it is your blog and it is your life! One of my favorite quotes: after the rain will come the sun! Cry, work, workout and cry while you workout you will feel better and as long as you want we are here for you to support you!
Liz I hope everything is getting itself figured out. I know how it feel to just be kinda “off” when you want things to be right. Life is never going to be easy, but finding a balance is important. In the meantime I hope you keep yourself happy – do things that make you smile, and surround yourself with those that warm your heart.
sending much love your way.
You know what, blogging at the right time is the most important thing you’ll discover as a seasoned blogger. Seriously, I have known people who don’t tell their stories until a year later – and what stories they are! I have done the same myself, although for me, the lag time is shorter, maybe a few weeks or months after things wrap up. It’s hard to write something insightful when you’re in the thick of things, when your emotions are fiercely swirling around you. So don’t worry, take your time. Figure things out for yourself first, and when you’re ready to share, we’ll be hear to listen.
… I completely relate to the need to take a deep breath before reacting. I am guilty of that alot. You are such a beautiful woman with such an expressive heart. I can speak for myself when I say that many of your posts have made me address issues of mine that I have been hiding from. Thank you for that.
don’t feel badly – it’s your blog.
just be wonderful
Sending you a hug.
Time is a very valuable thing. And sometimes, it’s the only way to heal.
Deleting a post because it’s not the right time makes perfect sense. We’re all ready to cope with things at different times, places, etc. Life presents thousands of options to us a day and sometimes, it just takes a while to sort all of them out.
Xoxo.
I’m sorry, I’ve been MIA so I missed your deleted post. But keep your chin up girlfriend! You will get through whatever is going on and be a stronger and better person b/c of it! Hugs!
xoxo
No worries, darling!
Love the quote!
xoxox,
CC
Something is working love, because I’m feeling the joy!
I hope you do too, sooner rather than later!!
you’re great liz and I know there are many wonderful things in store for you. All in good time
xox
*sends you positive vibes and hugs*
Well I really commend you for posting the first place. This community is so supportive and it’s so nice that you’re able to share with others. I totally understand your reasons for taking it down – it’s your blog after all!
TWO WEEKS.
*licks your face*
I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Darling, we’re all here for you, no matter what. I’m so blessed that you’ve opened up and shared yourself with me, but I do understand how hard it is to post such personal things out there for anyone to read – or for yourself to read over and over again. No matter what you delete or keep up, or have going on in your life, just remember what a beautiful, strong, and brave woman you are (with the best hair imaginable!). I love you, girl… I graduate on Saturday, so after that when life winds down a little, lets SERIOUSLY make some time to catch up! xox
Don’t beat yourself lady. We’re all just works in progress!
Crying from Steven means great end results, right?
I got my butt kicked this morning by a trainer…a SHE though…and I wont lie…I had a tear in my eye when i waddled out of the gym.
HOPE this weekend is WAYYY better!
Liz-I have deleted a post before as well…but the start of it still showed up on google reader and then everyone was wondering why I took it down. It is your blog and your thoughts, you have every right to retract them…but I am glad that you know that we (I) are here for you…anytime. Sometimes as bloggers, it is hard to figure out how much to share and when…
Been there done that and totally understand it. Chin up, Amazon warrior! Flick that hair!
x
Liz, wish i’d have seen the post. I’m sending lots of hugs your way!
Love your blog. Check the latest in fashion from India on Smitten
Hey hon! Sending you good vibes! I’ve definitely had knee-jerk reactions to things with guys-trying to control those! Hope to meet up at the SATC party and if you still want to come to my slumber party, I’m posting the photos on Sunday so you can send me one by Sunday! xo, Mel
I wish I had read it also. I can’t get your updates on my BB for some reason. However, we all care about you and I hope things go very well for you dear.
Your friends on this side of the virtual world love you and support you all the way.
MUAH
didn’t catch your earlier post; but their definitely is such a thing as too much too soon. just know your blogging buddies are here for you girl! <3
I hope you are feeling better. I love that quote from your deleted post
I didn’t get to read your Saturday post, but I do agree that timing is everything. Thank God for the delete button (at least in blog world), because there’s no such thing in real life
/ Feel better, hun! Sending big hugs & positive energy your way!!!
You mean an amazing NEXT week.
NINE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
such a wonderful quote!
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