“My life
You electrify my life
Let’s conspire to ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive”-”Starlight”-Muse
{Courtesy of my love Bella at Vintage Lollipops}
My life has changed so much in LIT-rilly a few days, and I’m excited, overwhelmed, thankful that the connections I have made over the years were not in vain…I should be over the moon right now. And I am. I SO am.
There is this ugh annoying part of me, however, that is so fundamentally terrified to be happy, so today, I actively seeked out something I knew would make.me.feel.like.shit. Worked like a charm. I’d lie and say I did it subconsciously, but in 2.5 seconds I was able to explain to my sister and Brooke why I was doing it, so I’m not going to front here.
My career-Starting Monday, I am going to be rillyrilly busy on a huge project and I might lag on the comments…but I highly doubt it as ya’ll are as much a part of my day to day as a venti skinny vanilla latte with an extra shot chased by a full throttle and a bag of peanut mm’s….
{Basically been wanting to use this picture forever. Badass B with her S bux. FAB.}
My heart-all I know is that someone is trying his darndest to sweep me off my feet, and I’m letting him. I was no doubt the girliest of girls at the Ducks game, and def out of my element…(took extreme-ehem-SMART measures to protect my Rebecca Minkoff bag by drinking my Blue Moon out of a sippy cup with a straw.) But I totally dug the violence! HOT! RAWR! We were so close to the glass that everytime the puck hit it, I think I jumped a mile. So fun, and my date thought my straw was cute, so win win…
{Yes, B, M and I call my bag “Becky”…she’s too purdy for an NHL game again kthxbai}
So…why, when things are going so well, do I choose instead to spend hours focusing on something guaranteed to bring me down? Unhappiness is not where I want to dwell, feeling yucky is not going to be my comfort zone anymore! I don’t want to continue to believe I don’t deserve things to work out, I don’t want to live in fear that things are going to go wrong.
See, there’s this girl. Not a blogger. I repeat, NOT A BLOGGER. But there’s this girl…she’s beyond gorgeous, in love, just got married and living “the” dream. I know her, or I used to. She has everything I thought I wanted…my old plans are her reality. She has security in everything that I don’t. I always thought my life would end up just like hers. And I know, ya’ll, I know…nobody has the perfect life, nothing is what they seem (espesh on sites like FB)…but my gawd…her wedding pictures, ALL 900 of them (900? Who does that?)-I couldn’t tear myself away until I was near tears thinking wtf is the matter with me?? (I’m DEF not upset about not being married!! Not my point…)
I took a different path…and here I am, on the brink of a huge career leap, dating someone who treats me like a princess, but STILL a part of me would give anything to trade lives with this girl. The other part, says NO. Even if nothing in my life is “secure”…I’m going to have to work harder than ever career wise, I am taking things day by day with this guy and that’s just where I’m at right now. Sometimes I wonder if she compares herself to me. I hate that I even bother to care, stopping NOW. I need to keep the emotional cutting to a minimum…srsly…life is GOOD.
{I am choosing to be HAPPY. It’s a decision, sometimes.}
So...
I will wish this beautiful girl well on her journey…
I will work harder than ever…
I will keep taking risks…
I will keep my heart open…
I will take it day by day…or date by date…
I will wake up thankful for the opportunites I have, the people I am going to meet…
I will continue on my journey, and realize that it is MINE and mine alone, as we are all on different ones, and they are not to be compared or judged…
I will hustle, rock it like a badass, take charge, toss my hair and drink beer out of a straw because that’s how I roll…
I will be happy.
I am dying to see all your Halloween posts/pics/shenanigans!
Besos!
XOXO,
Liz
{ 81 comments }
dude…not even going to repeat my texts from last night but we both know they would be completely appropriate…so bright and so amazing…and i am literally near tears myself because i want SUCH incredible things for you…things i know are ALREADY in the works and are happening right before our very eyes…
to the moon and back i love you…you know that…and if i have to be there to remind you everyday than i will…country cord…country road…reporting from heaven…we're too cute for this place lady…some of my favorite memories and i cannot wait to make more…and that my friend is something else that we have…
love you madly lady…
and uh.THANK GOODNESS becky had protection b/c like.whoa we may be some of the most badbum badgers around liquid mishaps are just kinda our thing…i'm just sayin…haha…
Awwww. So good to hear, lady friend. You do it like no other.
Amen, sister! I wish you nothing but love and happiness. I struggle with the same issues myself – sometimes I find it SO hard not to compare my life to others. Your post was an awesome reminder to be happy with what I have and who I am.
Oh my dear, I wish you all the happiness and love of this world.
xoxo
Love it. You're so strong. Beautiful. you will accomplish and have everything you want, one day. its going to come! Love you girlfriend… Your goals are similar to mine.
All the love and happiness… <3
I just cried bc I know. I just know what you are going through and I want to reiterate that you have so much more than she ever will. You just do. I hate to hear you doing this to yourself but I get that it is a protective measure. You can only protect yourself from being hurt and bc we have been hurt in the past, we hold onto the notion that THINGS will go bad but that is not always the case. I want you to follow the list you made here on this post. OK? I love you. You are talented, you are beautiful, you are sexy, you are smart, you drink blue moon and name your bags! LOL! You are amazing and I envy you! We are the SIZzle!
xo
Everytime you write something like this I feel like its written for/by me! I always compare myself to someone else (in fact it put a total downer on my last week) but why shouldn't we be happy??
You really are an inspiration love and I wish you all the happiness on your journey and I love how you roll!
Follow your dreams…not others!!! She may have these things now, but she isn't YOU nor ever will be. You have amazing friends…the career…the shoes…the dreams and that's what matters. You will have soo much more. Stay true to yourself and don't ever think for a second you'd be better off with her life. The grass isn't always greener on the other side…just sayin
so excited for you..you better call me tomorrow night and give me the scoop lady!!!! too much goodness in lizzy's life…that other chick can suck it:)
Oh Lizzy Marie, this welled my eyes up with tears, b/c I SO feel ya. SO. My life is good, too – the people, the boy, I'm pursuing my career passion, etc. – and I'm so badly trying to not think about what I don't have (the wedding, the kiddos) and just be present in the moment with what I have now, this moment. 'Cause it ain't too shabby. SIGH. You're right, happiness is a choice. But dammit, why is it so hard sometimes??? But dude, not today. Today I'm not going to make this hard. I choose HAPPY! Let's do this, let's rock this shiz!!
Mwah!
xoxo J
What a delicious post.
"I will hustle, rock it like a badass, take charge, toss my hair and drink beer out of a straw because that's how I roll…
I will be happy."
Bravo chica! Have a kick ass monday and rest of the week
Things are really coming around for you Darling! I wish you the best of luck with the career change.I'm so proud of how far you have come in just the few months I have known you. Liz, you're incredible, and we will both have a security and IT WILL BE AMAZING! God is looking out for us!
Ok, here's the deal. She's your Natasha sans Big. She's just a symbol for where you thought you wanted your life, but you're a Carrie and you're on a different path. When Carrie is depressed about Natasha, Charlotte reminds her of all the things she is and says, "And what is she? Married."
Cheers to you and to the journey you're on. In the end, it will be a crazy, happy, brave, beautiful adventure. I promise. Love you.
You are kicking ass and taking names and I'm sure SHE is jealous of you, who wouldn't be? You're unbeweaveable! The thing about pictures is that they don't tell the full story. They don't show the fights or the bad times. We all have them. But I do this too, especially with ex-boyfriends. It's a sick habit.
Glad you enjoyed the hockey game, aren't they fun?! Sounds like the boy is doing his job!
Lover! God do I know what you're sayin'! This is a crazy time in our lives and even crazier when what you thought was going to happen in life is thrown out of the ball park and then whoa you are now playing a completely different game. Like you starting your new company. You are going to rock it like nobody's business, and the fact that a certain boy toy treats you like a princess? Maybe you can have your cake AND eat it too.
XOXO,
Erin
P.S. I only drink beer out of straws too, but I also request ice and limes. Am I a MAJOR PITA or what?!?!?
yes, I think I do the same thing …I think I have such high expectations that when something great happens …it's still not WHAT I REALLY WANT …so therefore, I cannot be happy about it. It's stupid. ..I also have an version of how I thought my life was going to be rolling around my brain and even though I don't want that version any more, it's hard to get it OUT …and it's hard to keep reminding myself I DON'T WANT THAT ANYMORE …so weird. but I totally understand. Congrats on your job
I <3 that song. I actually have a post with that song in it saved in my list, to be posted at a future date.
It's ok to compare and to reflect, but just know that you're fabulous and that you have amazing things going on for you!
You are amazing… I LOVE (truly love) that you named your bag and protected her from your blue moon with a cup and a straw. This makes you incredible to me… but I knew that before this post. Just more evidence of your awesomeness I suppose. And I am SO HAPPY you are happy. Really… my heart is happy
SIGH. If it's any consolation, so many of us do things that bring ourselves done. As long as you're conscious of it. That's what I tell myself. It's not helping ME right now but I hope it helps someday :-/
gosh girl your my inspiration!!!
whoa what revelations did i miss out on this weekend…besides that awesome sippy cup protecting becky pic message (loved that btw).
i am so so excited for you right now and cannot wait to hear more about you rockin it like a badass (which ain't nothin new) and tossing that faboo hair of yours. you are AMAZING woman and i have no doubt you will succeed and be as happy as that 900 pic wedding bride.
LOVE YOU. besos y mas.
I love that song! I'm glad so many great things are happening to you. Your guy seems so nice! I'll keep my fingers crossed that things keep going so well for you. Good luck with your project at work! I'm sure it'll be great!
Totally know how you feel with that "She looks so happy on facebook" thing. Gah, FB… stop giving me too much information about people!
Good Luck on your amazing amazing journey lady!
I love MUSE! Good luck with the new project. I am sure you will do fine.
A good friend of mine told me to "stay in my lane" and as soon as I did, things started making sense.
I stopped worrying/thinking/obsessing what everyone else was doing or what I should be doing and just focused on how to enjoy the journey that will lead me to accomplishing my goals.
I focused on myself and things started moving in the right direction…
Things will happen for you the way you want it to, trust me sweetie!
XOXO
I do the same thing my love….in fact, just started catching myself doing it today.
In fact, I wrote this on one of those days where I just had enough of that part of me….
http://www.lemusingsofmoi.com/2009/09/im-sorry.html
Hang in there woman, you are amazing. And God has BIG plans for YOU!!!! Especially just for you!
Lizzy, I'm so excited for your new adventure. You are going to rock it, I just know it!!
I think many of us tend to think things are too good to be true and are just waiting for something to happen (I know I do). But I think we just need to live in the present and embrace everything as it comes. Things always work out in the end. You were made to do big things!! And deserve nothing but the best.
xoxo
Wow so I am sitting here have been crying for a few minutes…Tomorrow I will be tearing myself from my family to fly home…Im lonely..Im a lone…and I was torturing myself look at pictures of mr. no more with his new gf on halloween all dressed up…he would never dress up for me…she looks not so nice and I find myself crying asking why…so I rip myself from my pictures and come to read your blog…you do it again you remind me Im not alone..you remind that there are things to be happy about…you are so right happiness is a decision I will choose to be happy that I have a career that I have a home that I was possibly saved from this mr. no more and that maybe just maybe there will be someone for me out there soon…so I love you and I dont know you but thank you again for helping me without realizing it…<3
Elizabeth Marie, your life is and will continue be fabulous like you're, you deserve the best in life, you're beautiful, and so so smart, I only been reading your blog for a moth or so but for some reason feels like I've know you, like you younger skinnier less complicated me!
You going to do great at your job, and maybe one day you will hire me,no? OK
Brake a leg tomorrow! Be fab!
Good Luck
xoxo marta
aw good luck at all your new endeavors im sure you will rock at them all. i love reading your blog everyday it makes me laugh and i cant totally relate sometimes. keep being fabulous!
Are you serious? I can only imagine the numerous amounts of girls out there who wish they were you….
Remember, the grass always looks greener on the other side! But your side of the lawn looks pretty damn amazing if you ask me! Enjoy it and live it the UNBEWEAVABLE way!
totally digging the straw and lid idea.. you are a smart chicky.
as for this guy sweeping you off your feet. let him. it sounds like he really cares. you deserve the best lady and i am pretty damn sure you aren't going to let the best of the best walk out of your life.. right?
loved your post. you are fantastic. love you and hope you are feeling better..
ps.. i totally am the same way. as soon as my life starts to get better i somehow let something ruin it. not sure why? maybe i don't feel like i deserve it. gosh being a girl can suck.
put this on repeat in your head: you deserve to be happy. you deserve to be successful. you deserve to be loved and adored. and never forget it!!
ok, I know that is easier said than done, but really, you do deserve all those things. and even if you find yourself doubting yourself, as long as you come back to that knowledge, that in the end, no matter what, you deserve happiness, then everything will be alright. if anyone can rock it like a badass, with great hair to boot, it's you!
btw, I recently went to a Kings game, and I shielded my Coach bag from my strawberry daiquiri! and then I had it in my lap half the night to keep it off the floor. we girls love our purses!
you deserve the world, lady. and i hope you get it! xoxo.
Shirley wants to keep this short and sweet.
we all have the same goals in life as everyone else. There seems to be more of "those people" who get that shit dumb fast..and for others "us" sometimes it takes us a little longer to get there. I've always told myself " when its my turn it going to be 10000times better for i have learned from their mistakes and mine and now that i am here i can appreciate everything.
thats the path i see you going Laverne. Proud of you. You will get there and it will be exactly how you pictured it because you'll be able to say
" Yes, it was my way" – Frank Sinatra (my favorite song ever)
xxoxo
you deserve EVERYTHING good that comes your way. You are seriously one of the greatest people I have ever met in internet world or real world (even though we've only met in internet world, you were the only person to text me and ask what was wrong the other day and you made me feel so much better). You have so much heart. I'm so glad you found a boy to sweep you off your feet he sounds like a keeper. And I am so excited for you with your career. It is going to be amazing!!
xoxo times a million
With your life changing in just a few days, you have no idea what other unbeweavable things are coming in the years, months, weeks ahead. Life always has the best way of working out – in the time and way that's suited just for us. Customized to fit perfectly, like a designer gown and killer shoes. And your life right now, hon, looks and IS pretty darn sweet. No doubt so many would want to be in your shoes (literally and figuratively). Enjoy every minute of it and buckle up baby, it's only up from here
Darn insomia's going to kill me. Hopefully this isn't riddled with typos and is coherent…enough:)
xx
I bet she totally secretly wishes she could trade places with you sometimes, too. From where I'm sitting, your life seems pretty freaking kickass – living it up in LA, starting your own company, awesome blog and the freedom to date around!
I'm with K – YOU have this awesome life so many of us think would love! But yes, the other girl may seem to have a great life, but you really never know. Grass always seems to be greener right?
Your time will come and so many already see the amazingness in your! Celebrate your OWN accomplishments! You my dear lead a fab life!
Honey there are so many girls who'd give anything to be you. You totally gorgeous thing.
Good luck with the big project.
I really loved your words in the last para, so true.
xoxoxoxo
I really can relate all too well. I don't know why I find comfort when things aren't right. I find myself constantly finding things i'm not happy about. If it isn't something with my relationship, It's something with work. Well, it's always something with work but… if it's not then it's the way I look or my friends… it really gets tiring after a while…
We'll all figure it out one day! And find the happy medium we're looking for!
I completely agree, happiness is a CHOICE! So good luck! you have made a fantastic decision!!
So much of how I live is a CHOICE! Good for you lady for seeing beauty for what it is and you KNOW greatness is coming your way!!!xoxo
You totally deserve happiness! So go rock your badassness b/c you are a one of a kind special chicka! And beer out of a straw? Yes! I used to do that all the time! But not for the same reason… I was in college and we thought it made us drunker faster for some reason. I know, I know. How mature of us. Haha!
xoxo
I think we basically always want what we can't have, but here's the thing… who says you can't have all that? You might be in that situation 5 years from now… who knows. I've always believed everything is possible, both career-wise and love-wise, so I really don't think you need to dwell on what could have been… because it's not like youre 60 and looking back on things you can't change
In any case, I'm SO excited for your new career opportunities! I'm sure you're creating an empire as I type this! Ooh, love that pic by the way of B+ Starbucks. Yes, I always knew that those cups make the outfit (can't wait for the red cups to hit… I'm so sad for looking forward to that 
Hope you have a terrific week ahead!
First off. I am SO SO SO proud of you and what you have achieved in SUCH a short amount of time. I know I've said it before, but you are such an inspiration. Believe in the incredible badass that you are. We all have our own paths and yours is taking you down a fabulous road. Have faith in that. You are blessed and your happy ending is just beginning. HUGS!!! p.s. I didn't know we have the same EXACT 'bux order. Like you say…one mind!
Comparing oneself to others…ugh! No matter how much I scold others for doing it, I keep doing it myself. It's a frustrating, never-ending vicious cycle that only results in self-loathing. I love you for loving yourself, and believing in the gifts, talentes, and opportunities you have been given.
You are the baddest chick on the block (or in the blogosphere), Liz, and you deserve only the best. And, um…yay for a cute boy trying to sweep you off your feet!
I totally know how you feel. I've been through all that too – feeling jealous at other peoples lives, for no real reason other than that it's different than my own. My life is great, and yet I was always looking at where other people were in life, what they were doing instead.
Eventually I un-friended a bunch of people on Facebook and focused on my life instead of theirs.
Wish you all the best
What a fabulous, affirming, enthusiastic, and gorgeous post, darling! I love that you are keeping your heart open and choosing to be happy ~ you are inspiring me to do the same
xoxox,
CC
good for you! and im pretty sure you're "that girl" for many of us, your lowly readers. :]
keep rocking, we all love you!
I link you sexy.
So glad that everything is going great for you!
I think everybodys afraid that because everything is so good, that something bad will come. But just think positive! You're an amazing person. =]
Everyone's journey is so exciting and such an adventure! I totally agree with your concluding point! You'll be happy, you'll live your life, you'll be you <— and that my friend is the best part of life. Our own little journey, the unknowns!
You an AWESOME woman Liz. Kindhearted, transparent (as far as the heart goes… I love it), super smart and just fabulous!
Best of luck on your first day today!
Best of luck on your first day today!
Aww I'm guilty of the same sometimes, not seeing the good in my life because I'm so caught up envying someone else's seemingly perfect existence. Good for you for being able to step back and regain some perspective, though.
P.S. If you're really curious about how I spent my Halloween, you should check out my blog today!
Go ahead as the way you are Liz!! you sound soooo perfect to me with those desicions
(you always sounded that way though!!)..
btw: i just read your badger colony interview on bonbon rose and i GOT CRAZY WIHT THAT!!!!!!!! love the way you talk, roll, get together, or whatever you do!!! i'm TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU GUYS!!
(as i said to Mayra: can you please accept me to your colony as well
?? *sigh*)
love ya'all three.. most!!!
xoxo.
You don't need to worry about her. You're going to do great things and be happy.
Good luck!
girl…i don't even have words to respond to this right now…except for I LOVE YOU and i am SO SO proud of you…i am so happy for you that you are CHOOSING the path to find your own happiness….you are a force to be reckoned with…a latina tornado with her eyes on the prize and i know that you will find happiness with 'becky' in one hand and some badass boots on those feet….because that's how you roll…so keep that pretty chin up, move forward and screw the past…embrace happiness and accept it, because YOU DESERVE IT! love you…in case you couldn't tell.
Liz!! I am so happy that you are taking on this fabulous attitude. I know how hard it is when you spend most of your energy focusing on the bad. Bravo lady! Keep it up because you deserve all this goodness! And soon enough, we'll be able to share in it together! Love you lady!
Your life sounds so exciting and dynamic. I would never settle for anything less if I were you.
youre awesome!
i'm definitely taking notes!!
luva!! you have pretty much the best attitude and outlook on life ever!! makes me smile
i kid! but seriously, i learned a lesson. we don't know our own paths. we can think we do but we don't. so like you i decided to just take each day by day….now, i love my life and i'm happy, i'm with a guy i will spend my life with but we don't know our exact future. we can't even pick a wedding date for pete's sake 
i had everything planned out, perfectly…was with a guy for 5 years and that all blew up in my face….hate when that happens
continue your journey and enjoy your beer with a straw!!
i just love your blog….love how you write….love every little thang about it and you!!
hope you had a good monday!! i know you are going to be a busy bee from here on out, wishing you all the best luv!! XO!!
oh girl we've all been there…a lot! no matter how many things in our life make us happy we'll always find the things to brig us down. we just gotta stop thinking of those things and enjoy the moment and forget all the other people and what their lives are and decide for ourselves what we want our life to be.
You know how I feel about you…we won't get into it in the comment box…I will just leave that for our g chat dates….
Your attitude is one that someone would pay thousands upon thousands for over years and years of therapy. I guess we just call that priceless….
You are who you are because of the many paths you choose and the decisions you make. Without them…you just aren't.
Was that profound enough for the intensity and depth of this post??
Yes… it is all in your decision to be happy. So, just do it!
Christina
Fabulous Finds Gal
wherever you go, be sure to maintain your happiness and rely on no one! you are a tough cookie who doesn't need a man, it's more like the man needs her, lol.
btw, 900? EEEK!
everytime you post something like this… its like your reading my mind. even though our situations are reversed, i do the same thing… looking, seeking, wishing for a different path.
But for me and i am sure also for you… "this too shall pass."…
Your happy ending is in the making and you should be extremely proud of yourself…
i am proud of you.. just a stranger from the midwest.
xoxo
I'm with Kristin- I'm so proud to see how much you have accomplished in such a short amount of time. There ain't nothing stopping you now.
I'm just catching up on your blog musings– and they are good ones! xx
P.S. 900 photos of your wedding on FB? Who does that? I hate to raise red flags, but my friend did nearly the same thing on her FB posting wedding photos at nearly every turn she could– and she turned out to be deeply unhappy in her marriage… the grass is definitely not greener, my friend.
This has been one of your best posts yet darling! It was so inspiring and so true, happiness is a choice and I know a bit how you feel…I find myself wallowing in my unhappiness just to create drama {crazy I know} and yet I know that I deserve to be happy and I deserve to follow my dreams. Thank you for your honesty and for inspiring me to follow my dreams even more. You rock my badass Liz!
Oh, and I hope your project goes well. Just do the best you can, I am sure that it will turn out beyond amazing! XOXO!
i love this…you know as women we don't ever really know what the hell we want? it's natural. and then when we get what we think we want, we're like "i love it! except…" so we do have to remind ourselves sometimes to be happy.
Gorgeous gorgeous GORGEOUS gorgeous lovely post.
And lovely YOU!
mUAH!
(so proud of you for taking that outlook, rock it girly!)
Oh, and PS, after another moment of thought –
Do you know how many of those "perfect lives" girls would cut off a pinky toe or two to be YOU? Yep, with your badassness and danger and fearless ways…you're an inspiration. Especially for those go-by-the-book, stay-at-homers. OWN it. I guarantee you that in those 'perfect' marriages and such, there are moments of "man, but would I love to have those crushing butterflies or get a drink sent to me from a handsome stranger or get my heart broken and sit by the ocean all night"….
Yes, it happens. So know that you are the awesome-est of awesome!
I love Muse and I love you.
that is all. so excited for you for everything.
xx
Ohhh Dear I am wishing the bestest wishes on the new project!! Let the Happiness in, don't worry. You are an awesome person & you can totally do it!! Follow your words girl.
Liz, as a girl..woman.. ok girl before I feel any older. Let me say this. YOU"RE NOT ALONE!!!! Sometimes, I also wonder if I did the right thing, or made the right choice. Even though I'm perfectly happy, I always have to wonder and "compare" myself to others. Others that are doing grrreat in school when I'm just sitting here trying to get money to go back. But, I always remember that I have made decisions, because I had an option. They didn't and that's why they keep doing what I would have doing if I stayed at home instead of moving in with the honey. I know how you feel. I sometimes wish I was married, or graduated, or a mom [gasp!]. But, I'm not, and that's OK. Because those are the choices that I've made for my life.
Keep doing what you really want to do. What your heart tells you to do. And you will be happy just because you tried. TRRRUST me. Sometimes, that's the only thing I can hold on to before I drown in tears.
So true, happiness is a choice. It has taken me a long time to realize that and be thankful for every day. Sometimes the choice to be happy is the hardest one to make but its definitely the best one.
how the f did i miss that post?? Liz, i seriously love you for writing things like that. you are like a real life, super stylish, super hero.
ok it's a bit late…as this post is from last week but, and i know it's weird to say that, i'm really proud of you.
it takes balls to think that way.
xxx
I'm a stranger, and I just stumbled across your blog today by accident. I wanted to say thank you for posting this. I printed out most of the bottom part and hung it up on my desk at work to remind me.
You are inspiring. Thank you.
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