I had my first full blown panic attack almost nine years ago walking out of a California Pizza Kitchen with my then boyfriend…I literally thought I was having a heart attack and dying. I can’t explain the sensation, I can barely remember it because while it has such physical effects, you almost feel like you’re floating above yourself. I just remember holding onto his hand so tight that later on I found out I bruised and cracked it and he couldn’t use it for weeks…um.oops. 
And as quick as it came…it went. Left me exhausted and terrified…EKG’s and multiple tests later…the cause was determined.
Anxiety. I didn’t take it seriously. I was SO HAPPY, doing my thing, partying, making my early 20′s my bitch. Still though, in the back of my mind I was terrified that the dizzyness, the tightening in my chest, the tears would come back.
They have, many, many times. And so my journey with this thing called “anxiety” began. Dealing with anxiety sucks. It’s scary, confusing and makes you feel so out of control…which I think is the thing I hate the most. Sometimes it hits me out of nowhere, on a seemingly great day. Or sometimes, like tonight, it feels like I’ve been waiting for it all day…like an old friend I just don’t want to see, knowing it’s just lurking around the corner and boom…
I’ve had doctors tell me it’s because I’m too hard on myself, because I internalize everything, and I can’t argue that those are both true. As hard as I am on the ones I love, and I am, I am ten times harder on myself. I also don’t like to admit when I’m stressed or worried and would much rather keep it inside and deal with it on my own.
Those same doctors have also told me that dealing with anxiety and all that comes with it, also makes one a more compassionate, sensitive person. I hope so. The most important thing is that I will never let it trap me, I will never let the anxiety become bigger than me but at the same time, I can’t fight it kicking and screaming. There is a level of acceptance that has to take place, but that will never mean surrender. 
This little blog of mine, started on a whim 9 months ago, has become an integral part of coping with this. YOU are like hundreds of support systems, all around the world, but I still hate admitting that this is something I fight. I am in tears writing this because for me, writing down that I.am.not.perfect is terrifying and scary. It makes it a little too real for my liking. Writing about my hair is fun, and I’ll do it again, but I keep it real around here.
We all have different journeys and struggles, and I want, I NEED to be open and honest about mine…and I feel compelled to, tonight, use this odd platform that I have to tell you, if you’ve ever struggled with this that you are not alone. Taking a risk in hopes that by sharing this, someone, anyone, a silent lurker even will be comforted just a little, because seriously…
We are so not alone.
If you read this, thank you.
XOXO,
Liz
P.S. I am fine loves…this is just a teeny part of me that at times, can feel very, very big. I can sleep now…minus the fact that sharing this has made me anxious!
{ 96 comments }
oh love…we are so very the same when it comes to how we deal…the way that we are too hard on ourselves but yet expect those around us to move mountains as well…i think this is why you and i just are so great…we understand…like self medicating friendship…and to an outsider reading this i probably sound like ya'know who…but i know that you'll know and that's all i care about…
i am always ALWAYS here for you and hopefully knowing that will ease your nerves slightly…never judge…never condemn…never turn my back…you are human and understandably that comes with as many faults as it does with perfections…but i know everyone that reads this will accept this and will lift you up throughout the day with their love and support…friends/stalkers/fans/besties are good for that…
love you lady…madly…always!!!
Liz…you are SO not alone! it's incredible the amount of stress, pain, fear, sadness, BS we're able to take on while still smiling and showing our "i'm fine and strong and everything's ok" face.
i've done for years.to the breaking point. i healed but it can't help myself doing it!
but one thing has changed. the boy (the one i'm trying to forget…) has showed me that if i could strech that much for tough stuff, well surely i could stretch it that much for happy stuff as well.
ok. not sure i'm making much sense for anyone but myself here…
anyway, what i mean is, nobody likes perfect people. what makes people beautiful is their goodness as much as their little flaws and weakness.
that post makes you even more loveable, hun!
and remember you don't have to be strong all the freaking time!
thank you so much for sharing that…
xxx
your post actually made me cry. you are so brave, not to just deal with it, but to raise awareness and helping others!!!
Thank you so much for posting this.
My daughter is 13 and started suffering with panic attacks a year ago.
Doctors or us have never been able to get to the route of the cause, because, like you, sometimes they will come from no where when she's having a great day.
We've been told there isn't much they can do for her, we just have to learn to deal with them.
The scariest part for me watching her is that all her muscles go into spasm so her hands look like claws and it is physically impossible to open them…
Not nice, but you've given me hope xxx
Bless you. x
Oh Lizzy you are one strong woman! To actually open up about this and talk about it in such a detailed way!
Thank you
Thank you for your honesty and for being so real!
Liz, you are so brave and kind to share this in the hopes that you might help someone else. It's often hard to admit our flaws, but there can also be something very freeing about recognizing that you aren't perfect and don't have to be. Thank you so much for sharing this part of yourself with us. You are an amazing lady!
thank you for writing this. i have an anxiety disorder, and this all hits so close to home.
my love, you are such a strong woman. you're beautiful, kind, funny, sweet, endearing. you are LOVELY. we all have our struggles, you're right, and it's inspiring to see someone with such courage. im positive you will encourage many people through this post and your blog. im glad you started it 9 months ago!!
love u dear, have wonderful, relaxing day!
My boo! I'm sorry to hear about this. I haven't experienced it myself, but known a few people who have and its so scary to watch, so I can only imagine how it must feel. Props to you for throwing it all out there. You're the breast! I mean, best.
I'm the "secret lurker" that needed to read this!!!!!
You might as well have plucked the words from my very own experience. Thank you for sharing because trust…there are soo many of us out there.
The way you expressed what it feels like…uhmazing!
And I…like you will never let it defeat me!!!
Gracias…Carolina
Ohhhhh honey, I know exactly how you feel! For as long as I can remember, I have worried about something. What started out as normal, common worrying has since evolved into full-blown panic attacks. I'm talking hyperventilating, sobbing, the works. Literally, I worry myself sick. I've been to countless doctors and therapists, and I just cannot stop worrying! Sometimes the reason for my anxiety is a legitimate issue. Other times it's something incredibly small like "Did I turn off my straightener?" (Umm, seriously?! It has automatic shut off.) Lately, the panic attacks have been more and more frequent for me. As I explained to one of my friends yesterday, I feel like I'm continually underwater and instead of bobbing for air, I'm being dragged along with the current, continually hitting rocks and debris on the bottom all along the way. No fun, no bueno.
So now I will say it to you. You, my love, are not alone either. Hundreds of people read your blog everyday. Not just for your hair (which is fabulous) or you clothes (ditto) but for you! You have an absolutely amazing personality, and it shines through in all of your writing. You aren't afraid to put yourself on the line (and that's evident in posts like this!) and you legitimately care about others. I know it's tough, and like you, I've had a rough go lately, but just know that you're absolutely fabulous. And you've got tons of people on whom you can lean!
Love, love, LOVE you!!
It's amazing how many people suffer from this. I started having panic attacks when I was really young and it took a long time before they knew what was wrong with me. I've been on medication in the past but now I'm just trying to deal with it on my own and for the most part I do okay. It's crazy how it will hit at the most random times.
I'm glad you put this out there. You're a super brave chick and I love you lots!
I've said this before and I'll say it here again…the reason you and I bonded so quickly was because we have both been through some (for lack of a better word) shit. Things we'd rather not talk about. But i'm glad you wrote this. I'm happy you didn't keep everything in this time. Aniexty is a real bitch. I've been there. Those sleepless nights. Those panic attacks; where you feel your chest tighening and you can't breathe. Feeling as though you're about to have a heart attack. The only good thing about aniexty is that we both know it doesn't last. The bad thing, as you mentioned, it can hit you out of no where like some huge crazy wave.
I don't tell you enough how much of an amazing and STRONG woman you are. You inspire me.
Oh and you know I always gotta through some music in here haha. But seriously if you are ever having a bad day with feeling anxious, turn on some Joshua Radin. I swear he has the most soothing voice. Ever.
Love you to the west coast and back!
i have terrible anxiety and can relate to everything you typed!!!! you feel it is out of your control. now – if i have one i can talk myself through it and at least i know what it is. it is a horrible feeling; people that never dealt with this have no idea what it is like and don't understand. you can have them just from a normal day, driving to lunch and boom, there it is again. i heart you for being honest with us all and you have a great support system. xoxo
I don't think anyone out there is perfect and if it's not anxiety, people have other problems and issues… we are only human. Having said that, I am very surprised to hear you have it, as I had always figured you to be so confident and self-assured (i.e. someone who wouldn't have any reason to be anxious). But ironically when I think about it, some of my most outwardly confident friends are very fragile and I do know the pressure that goes along with being a bubbly fiery personality. Just don't ever let anything get to you and sometimes, it is ok to just take a break and get away from everyone and everything!
Hope you're having a great week so far!
My blog is also my way to deal. I've never admitted this to anyone but I started the blog because I felt like the only other option for me to get better would be to see a shrink and THAT would be admitting to the world that i.am.not.perfect.
I'd rather have my own little corner on the web .. it's still internalizing my feelings but there's also feedback from people and each comment helps me grow.
You know, we've never talked about this together but I think that maybe, somehow, we sensed it ? That we're similar in this way ..Does that make sense ?
Kisses Babe !
Feel free to express yourself. We are hear to listen and allow you to be yourself!
Love to you honey! You're the best!
Thanks for this honest and uplifting account, Liz! Your final message is so important, and so true: We are not alone!!
xoxox,
CC
Honest post- must feel good to let it out. I have one of these coming later today too…
Anxiety is tough and I myself struggle with it sometimes and some of my friends do too, more severely. Helps to have a great support system, which it seems like you do
Liz thank you for sharing this, I remember my first panic attack deep in the underground on the tube in London, I really thought I was dying…
Since than moving to the states, made me release how many people suffer.
I'm sorry you have to go through that too, But you are so not alone!
oh woman, don't I know this struggle.
I had my first panic attack a little over 2 years ago, and it was the worst thing I have ever experienced. It was then followed by MONTHS of intense anxiety that never faded, not even for one minute.
Just know that we're here for you girl, and you're right, you are soooo not alone.
You should totally read this book, The Anxiety Cure by Dr Archibald Hart. Amazing incredible book that helped me soooo much.
love ya girlee!
lady…THIS is why i love you. THIS is why we're friends…
you are the most real person and i know this because in the past few months, you've become one of my bestest friends. you are smart, you are funny, you are passionate, you are caring, you are strong and on top of it all, you are GORGEOUS!
lady, if this was the real world (got that from almost famous), i'd hate you because in my eyes you are PERFECT but i don't. i love you and i admire you MORE because of how geniune you are with yourself and with others. i love that what i read here is YOU, not what others want you to be, not what you want others to think of you. i love you because you're more REAL than most people i know.
you may not be perfect but guess what? NO ONE IS. no matter how perfect their bangs are or their red lipstick looks (bwahaha!)…we are imperfect and that imperfection is beautiful.
now i'm in tears…haha. love you liz. i'm here for you ALWAYS and will run another 26.2 miles if it meant helping you in any way.
xoxoxoxoxoxo.
This made me cry. You are absolutely right, we are SO not alone. And you are definitely not alone!!! And well, I started blogging to cope with my anxiety problems, and with my insecurities…writing helps in any way…it makes the so-called pain smaller, sometimes bigger. Though on our journeys through life and our struggles to find ourselves, to find our paths in life it is essential we sometimes give in and admit the fact that we aren't always okay, and aren't always perfect.
I'm glad to hear you are fine. As I said, writing helps!
I have anxiety attacks too, and it sucks and is awful. Thanks for talking about it. Because it's not something any of us ever talk about.
Hey sister sledge. I was on lexapro for like 5 years. I think it's normal these days. No worries. Anxious people are awesome. Means they care
you are so amazing for being open and honest with us all.
esp in this bloggy world, we all have each other to rely on and it's such a great feeling. 
i love ya bunches girly!
sorry you have to deal with this. like you said, you are not perfect, NONE of us are! and we are not alone
you are beautiful lady! so glad to have "met" you
sending big hugs for you!!
i had my first panic attack about five years ago. it was the scariest thing ever. i can totally relate to you. keep your chin up, and hunny.. the blogging world does not expect you to be perfect. we love you for who you are and what you have to share. keep blogging about this and it will totally help. i know it's helped me become more focused and less anxious indeed. i'm here if you ever need to talk/vent. much love darling.
Liz,
I completely understand. I've struggled with anxiety all my life. At one point, i was so tightly-wound that it caused the nerve in my face to break down and i had paralysis on the right side of my face for months. I also have bipolar disorder, which makes anxiety so much worse.
Thank you for sharing this. Too many people feel that having trouble with your mental health is too taboo to discuss. It's the stigma surrounding mental issues that's shameful – NOT struggling with them:)
You truly are not alone!
XO – Mo
thank you for sharing this! while I havent had an anxiety attack *yet*- I am the same way about being too hard on myself and internalizing everything. I stressed myself out so much, I gave myself shingles at the age of 28-our bodies have a way of telling us to ease up-one way or another. you rock for sharing your struggle to help others!
I know the feeling…I was up till 5 a.m. feeling it! :-O
I feel the same way. its heartbreaking and hurtful at the same time, that you some how cant always be enough. totally understand.
you're so not alone!
xoxo
oh mama, my heart aches and rejoices with you all at the same time… thank you so much for posting this… isn't it amazing the kind of pressure we place on ourselves, simply demanding the best. i'm so proud of you for the amazing woman you've become, for the obstacles you're overcome, and for the ability you have to motivate all those that cross your path…thanks for letting us all know that we are not alone in our struggles and that many of us understand more than you would think…i love you so so so so much mama!! sending big hugs your way!! LOVE YOU!
i too have struugled for years with my old friend anxiety…
you explained it so perfectly and it is so nice to be reminded that i am not alone.
you are just amazing LIz
I admire your courage to open up like this! It's beautiful so are you and like you said no one is perfect just keep doing what ur doing I think your amazing!
I also admire you for being yourself and saying it like it is. We all have struggles and pretend like we live in this perfect world, with perfect things, and perfect spouses, etc. Thanks for being you!
I truly love you for this. I started suffering from panic attacks/anxiety a few years ago, when I first started recovery for an eating disorder. To this day, I still get them. I agree, the worst part of it is the feeling of being out of control. Sometimes I feel so jittery from it, and I can't calm myself down. That is definitely the worst part – you just want to go to bed forever when that happens.
I admire you for sharing this with the world. I can see where it can be therapeutic to just confess such an internal issue – if only to make people understand you more. Hugs darling!
I need to get on some xanax. I have panic attacks as well. And it drives me crazy. I shake and my heart races, and I feel nervous. Ugh, drives me CRAZY!
You are so bold to post this stuff girly! I love your openess. Hot!
Have a good week
Oh Lizzy, what I want to tell you I fear should not be said over blog land but I love you (you know that) and I'm here for you always.
Thank you for sharing! I have struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life. It has made a lot of everyday things really hard for me. It comes on when I'm really stressed and also in large crowds or meeting new people.
Blogging really is so helpful. We are able to open up without the anxiety. I really feel like I'm finally not alone.
You are awesome and I love you and your blog.
xoxo
Kel
Oh Lovely Lizzy, I am right there with you. I so wish we didn't live almost a whole country away from each other so we could get together and chat.
I'm so stressed most of the time, and I've really found that, like you, blogging really helps. I know I internalize too much and that just leads to more troubles.
You're not ever alone, dear, we're all here for you, And we have Xanax and chocolate. = )
I have anxiety too. I've been diagnosed, I'm on a med for it…and it freaking sucks!
I know the feeling, I know the thoughts. I know.
I am glad you posted this.
I am glad you wrote this. You need to get things off your chest sometimes and a blog is sometimes the best place to do it.
We are always here for you, no worries. And you are definitely not alone.
This just makes you a stronger woman.
And you are not alone lady. I know how debilitating that crap can be. I think those docs have something. You are an incredibly kind and empathetic person. Some of that could have come from your struggles. I'm glad that you recognize that your support system is in place. Your true friends are here to pick you up anytime you fall. Love you!
liz, we are here for you. : )
Awwww love, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this and I admire you even more now for having the courage to share this. I know you touch SO many lives with your blog and this is just another example of that. I love you and hope that blasted anxiety goes far far away and doesn't come back! XOXO
I admire your honesty. I had a BF that suffered too.
you are the last person i would imagine to deal with this.
we can swap stories, seriously.
thanks for sharing and glad to have you, anxiety or not!
ah anxiety, what a tight grip it had on me for a long time. it's completely possibly to get control of it and be aware so it never makes you collapse so painfully again. for me it took meds and counseling and now i don't need either. i'm able to recognize when it's coming and do a little eft (check it out on youtube) and then i'm back to feeling like myself. you are a strong lady, you can get there too!
I ran out of Klonopin this week.
IT IS NOT OKAY.
Oh Liz, we all feel it at some point. and none of us is perfect.
you're fabulous just as you are and we all love you honey *hugs*
Sweetie, I'm so glad that you are so brave – it really takes so much strength and courage to open up and write about the things that are so personal and so close. Each of us have our struggles, and the things that are so close to us, and might be tough to talk about. I really think you are amazingly brave (sorry for repeating, but it's true).
I think you are absolutely perfect – I think so many people try to cover up who they are or the things that maybe aren't so perfect – but the fact that you put it out there… I just love you, girl! =)
You're absolutely beautiful, inside and out, and I just adore you.
Such a great post! I applaud you for being so strong, honest and letting us into your world! You are soooo not alone! Sometimes our mind drives us a little nuts and we need to vent as much as possible to realize it's ok and we're not alone.
anxiety sucks. and what's frustrating is people's suggestions are things like "stop being so hard on yourself," but how do you do that?? i don't know about you, but i have a very limited amount of control over my thoughts. they're too fast for me, popping around my head like little schitzo bouncy balls. (i obviously have some anxiety issues of my own.) anyway, i think you should be really proud of yourself for accepting that this is something you have to deal with and for talking about it here! that's hard stuff. you're awesome, liz, and i love you!
Good for you, lovebug, for talking about something so important on your blog. So many people have anxiety, but don't talk about it. I used to really struggle with this, but for me, it got better and is almost non-existent now. That's my little bit of good news for the day. I'm posting a pic on your facebook rght now. Love you.
we talked BBM already about this – and i'm definitely not gonna dish our dirt so – all im saying is you already know the problem girl and its easier said then done but dont let little things get you so worked up that it makes you sickies.
Liz + Emo + sickies+ Stress = Not happy kelly
Thanks for sharing Liz. Try not to be so hard on yourself sweetie. So glad you're getting some rest in. Many blessings darling and feel better soon.
thank you for posting this. i know the feeling. i get tunnel vision and my heart starts to race. certain things trigger mine, i've never gone to a DR about it. though i would love a prescription of xanax for those days that i just can't take it anymore! i internalize everything and it eventually blows up.
but enough about that. know that you are awesome, gorgeous, and i'm glad writing your blog helps you!
My darling, I just admire you for posting about this, you're a brave brave girl!!!!!!
I feel related to all this and you, as I have had 3 major depressions, I live everyday with anxiety and I'm so hard on myself.
And since 2001 that I take a pill every day to make me less anxious.
You're just gorgeous, lovely and I love you, sweetheart.
All the best
tons of love
xoxo
i am so glad you are finding a way to manage anxiety. i find the older i get the more nervous and anxious i am. that is not fun, and i try to keep a grip, but sometimes i just can't. particularly of late. but it was good of you to write this post so that others can know more about you and about how you cope with this. i bet it will help some. i really do!
You are so not alone…I think I have suffered from anxiety for years, but never got it diagnosed..instead docs stuck me on high blood pressure meds for the rest of my life..ugh…I absolutely admire HONESTY especially in people's imperfections..and lady your at the top of my list. Its not easy sharing the tough stuff, but as you can see, sharing this has already opened the doors for 50 some odd readers to feel like they arent alone! Way to go lady love!!!
Sweetheart, you are compassionate, caring and sensitive! And an ass kicker! I can't say I know how you feel b/c I've never had a panic attack, but I can say that we love you! And I hope writing it all down didn't cause you too much anxiety!
You rock!
xoxo
you are not alone. you are amazing and gorgeous and even more perfect and beautiful because of this.
i feel so lucky to call you my blog friend.
i admire you for being open and honest with us here. Many times i've thought about being open and honest but held back for fear of what people will think but you've made me think otherwise
I have actually dealt with anxiety in a smaller scale. A few years ago, I thought I had asthma because I kept having trouble breathing and also because it runs in my family. I went to the doctor who told me those were just anxiety attacks and that i am taking on too much. You're right, its not always easy admitting these things, but when you do, its surprising how many people stand by you huh? 
<3
Oh dear, I would say I have the same thing but I can relate, so hard on myself sometimes. I think if you moved away from all the hussle and bussle in LA and came to slow it on down with me in Texas you'd feel a lot better, just sayin. Love your honesty, you'da you'da best!!!
Hate you if I didn't love you!! xoxo
Liz baby, you are an amazing girl!! Don't be so hard on yourself. I totally know where you're coming from. Hang in there, and stay strong. You rock!
So proud of you writing this important post. That way you can let others know you are not ALONE in your struggle, Lizzie!
I think you have made great leaps and bounds in your process of working through the internal battles – and remember – you are allowed to have a bad day (or days).
And when you need extra support – you can always call me love!!
XOXO
You are more than not alone. You are one of us. And we/I love you for it! This honesty, genuineness, and acceptance are what draws people to you. I'm grateful I stumbled upon your blog months and months ago and that I've been able to see you take this journey — and feel better about my own as a result. XOXO.
I can completely relate to this because I have had serious health problems ( cancer) and three kids so I worry a lot. I can easily be pulled into panic mode where I can't breathe and get dizzy just from worry and my own personal triggers, I don't even know they are coming but they can sneak up on you and everyone's are so different. Today I was on a carousel with my 4 year old and got so dizzy I thought I was going to pass out with freaked me out and I couldn't let him know this so I focused hard on something and breathed and it passed… I tell myself that I am stronger than my fears and to F off and sometimes it works!!
Good luck, life is fabulous and sometimes well its not
Bunny
Oh honey..I don't have attacks myself but my bff does and it is SCARY! Take care of yourself and remember that you are beautiful and wonderful and deserving of all of your dreams and no one can take that from you!
Aw!! Don't be too hard on yourself! As a high school student reading your blog, all I see is this super cool person I HOPE I can be like one day! I'm glad we can all be your support, and I hope the anxiety gets better for you (or worse for it?) and some day you won't have attacks at all.
We all react to anxiety differently. I know for myself, I just let it build up and up until I finally reach my breaking point and have a mini breakdown. Its nice to know you aren't alone.
You're a strong girl Liz!!!
xoxoxo
Hey Liz, I haven't kept in touch, and I'm sorry. Whenever I start work, I literally become somewhat of a wreck until I get adjusted I know how anxiety feels. It's such a scary thing to internalize all of it because there has to be some release. I panic at times, and I know it's nothing compared to what some people deal with on a daily basis. I'm hoping you feel better. I miss talking to you and hope all is well with work and your boy.
xoxo
You're truly brave and thank you for sharing with us your thoughts, experiences with anxiety and feelings. Just know that you've helped so many and you are not alone! Thank you for being you… Oh oh oh when can you guest post for me sweetie?
http://underthesheets-shhh.blogspot.com
lots of love
My little Sherlock, I applaud you for being honest, way to go girl. We all have stuff we struggle with, life is a challenge!
xxx
I applaud you for being so honest. I think there are a lot of things each of us has a hard time coping with and a hard time sharing. What we don't realize is that we can benefit and get a release from these struggles…we aren't surrendering to them, like you said, when we set them free and lay them out for everyone to see. I wish I could say as much of what I feel as you do. I think it's very brave of you to be that honest and very inspiring. No one is perfect, especially myself. I think it helps to lay out because then you got people, like me
, to support and encourage you. Well, I've rambled on more than I meant to. Hope tomorrow is better!
I'm so happy this blog is helping you deal! You are one amazing lady – get some rest and feel better soon!
I totally relate, I'm always super stressed out and have had bad anxiety lately too. There are those nights when I can't sleep because of anxiety and it is soo exhausting! I stress so bad I get bad physical effects (eye twitch, hives, gray hair ewwah!) and I hate it! So no girl, you aren't alone, and we can all do it together!! Thanks for being open!! I know that for me, reading about other people and how they deal helps me, it is nice to know there are others out there as crazy as me!
It's crazy to me how common anxiety is dear Liz, my sis had social anxiety for years, and my brother's girlfriend developed attacks recently. I suffer from some extreme food allergies. l'll be totally normal and have the wrong bite of something and then my face swells and I feel dizzy and weird
So awkward. But you're right, can't let it define you or control you… lots of love!!
Oh WOW lovey!! You're sooo brave writing that in your blog, and putting it out there, even when it makes you anxious. You're amazing, anxiety and all included! We all have very different ways of dealing with stuff, but just know that I'm here for you if you ever need anything!!! =)
PS: You still look like you're in your early 20's
Thank you for your honesty darling…
we are in the same boat somehow…sure can relate to some of this thingie* Peace & Joy be with you sunshine! xo & blessings your way okie*
Sigh…. perhaps it is anxiety that is keeping me from sleeping… I have been up since 3:00 and hence am reading blogs since I can't seem to get back to sleep.
I know it won't make you any less hard on yourself, but I think you're amazing… and from the outside (and I know it's always different on the inside…) I see woman who is beautiful, and confident, and smart, and funny… and out to conquer the world. I love how you are just dealing with this anxiety head on and refusing to let it define you…
*sigh*
don't worry you're not alone..
here we are for you..
Amazing post. I too have aniexty & have had my share too of panic attacks. My problem is that I internalize things too until I can't keep it in anymore. I agree wholeheartedly with you that these blogs are a way to help with coping & it's just like woa there is someone here who has the same thing or knows of someone ya know? It's amazing. I hope you have a good day sweetie.
Thanks for this heartfelt post sweetie, I too suffer with anxiety, as it seems with a lot of our other ladies. It is a hard thing to learn to deal with emotions in a healthy way and I think blogging and journaling are healthy ways to do it! Props to you for being open about it and there is a way to be happy, content, and taking one day at a time. Glad you are being honest about this. XOXO!
I love you lady, and YOU are my inspiration!
xoxo
i had the SAME experience with my first panic attack two years ago, except i was in class.
i was definitely to hard on myself, pushing myself to get perfect grades all the time. luckily, i've learned to chill out a bit. Bs aren't bad!
i vividly remember feeling outside of myself, like i was looking in.
great post! i totally relate.
Liz-Don't think you are ever alone! I know how much anxiety sucks! I myself do not have it, but LB does…and it controls his life.
As you said, it could be a seemingly great day (like his only day off outta the week) and bam, we have go home bc he feels so shaken and stirred that we can't do anything.
He had his first panic attack over two years ago..went on meds, got better, wanted off, was fine and then had to go back on again.
If you ever need anything, let me know. I've become good with talking LB thru it. =D
anxiety can suck my balls. mine started at age 24. I got to a point where I didn't leave the house. It's honestly, the worst.thing.EVER.
Mostly I'm okay now …but I can feel it when it's a-comin' …more so when I'm pmsing. annoying.
also …they lessened when I quit smoking. just to help anyone out who may read this.
Oh Lizzy Marie… I want to hug you and protect you and take it all away… (sigh, the mother-instinct in me…) We all have our "things", don't we? I don't have anxiety, but I have something… I can get all up in my head to the point where I'm in one dark, scary place, and all I do is cry and mope around. Maybe it's depression? I don't know. It doesn't happen a lot, but when it does, yikes. It's something that has affected relationships to the point of making them explode, so that makes it all the harder – 'cause I start to blame my neurosis for why I'm not married with bambinos yet… but again, that's the monster feeding itself, so that's not fair to myself… it does help knowing we're not alone, it helps A SHIT TON…
Love you!!
xoxo J
Oh you are NEVER alone…and you know this. I think you are one brave mama to share this all with us. You are such an incredible person. The most important thing is to have a good safety net/support system, and that my dear, ya got!
xoxoxo
I've struggled on and off for the past few years (since being in college) with anxiety… even moreso than ever since August.
I had a full out panic attack at work a few days ago. I am currently (temporarily) a server… NOT a place to have a panic attack while slammed busy on a Friday night. I went into the office and cried for the 10 whole minutes my tables would allow me to be away from them.
Anxiety is a real thing. So is depression… both of which I face on a daily basis. Keep your head up though, Dollface. It's ok to be imperfect. As Marilyn Monroe stated- Imperfection is beauty.
xoxo.
You're definitely not alone in this Liz and I do understand. My wife Sandy has had panic attacks from time to time, and I've had one myself (while driving. THAT wasn't a great feeling!)
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