Happy Thursday dollfaces!
So in planning for my trip-there was ONE and only ONE person who was an option to guest post for me today, and if she didn’t agree, It’s Unbeweavable was going to be *gasp* quiet. But luckily…Mayra via life is BANANAS said yes. Add this to the list of reason’s why
I AM OBSESSED WITH HER…
Moi, B and Mayra..yep, we are the Badger Colony. Mayra and I have SO MUCH in common it’s pretty scary-and I’m talkin more than just being sassy brunette Cali Aquarius Latina’s who love some sangria and a lot of Beyonce. More than just knowing when to serenade each other when one of us is in funkytown and a similar badass style whewww…so meet Mayra. You’ll love her too, but don’t steal her please because OOFA and I love her and miss her a lot. 
{Apparently good hair runs in the colony…just sayin}
oh my liz…the fabulous unbeweavable liz. obsessed with me? um lady the feeling is beyond mutual and has been for a while now but you already know that. i mean, really, who doesn’t love liz? she’s like everybody’s best friend, sister, compadre…seriously one of thee nicest most beautiful gals i know! she makes me look like the evil stepchild (you may or may not agree with that statement now, but you will after reading this post)…when liz first asked me to participate in this series, i was giddy with excitement. i was like F*CK YEA! then of course i had to think of something clever to write about. talk about pressure! after much thought, i decided to take one of my more popular posts and continue on my path of ruthlessness with what i shall call the monkey’s out of the bottle part deux aka pandora doesn’t go back in the box, he only comes out.
• skinny bitches •
it’s all good in the hood to work on your fitness and lose weight but when your skin starts to hang off your bones, your back looks like a stegosaurus and your face resembles skeletor, well…it’s ’bout time you worry.
{the camera adds 10 lbs, not 100!}
• steroid abuse •
an unlimited amount of juice will never undo the hideousness that is this creature’s face.
{i think i see pubes. GOO!}
• the pregnancy bug •
stay away!!! i don’t like you!!!
{let’s not}
• the other kind of d-bags •
they may not rock the lame-o tattoos or the ed hardy t-shirts but this trio is definitely d-bag city.
{i just got dry real quick}
• octomom •
real talk, WHY is she famous?!? she’s an unemployed, unattached angelina jolie wannabe who gets impregnated by a syringe, pops out 8 scary looking preemies and gets a 2 hour special? does anyone else see something wrong here?!
• tanorexia •
it’s an epidemic that’s gone too far. bitch, you are ORANGE!!!
{oompa loompa doompadee doo}
• couples that make you wanna vomit in your mouth and scream WHY?!?! •
i don’t know about you but i HATE this couple. go away already!
{um taco bell does not need your endorsement, thank you very much}
OVER IT!
{the views and opinions expressed in this post are strictly those of the author, bananas, and do not necessarily reflect the views of others…but i kinda hope they do}
I happen to agree with it all, thanks LOVER!XOXO,Liz
{ 64 comments }
Dear Laverne…i miss you already bitch. i hope you have a fabulous trip with the gals!! i cant wait to hear the stories and i anticipate the liveblogging…hooker!
and Mayra…you fabulous!! i am definitely jealous of your hair!!! – oh btw your views definitely reflect my views. fucking kick ass!
xoxo
AHAHAHHAHAHAHA! amazing! and i kinda needed to read a hilarious rant right now, so thank you! is that picture of rachel zoe for real??? it makes me really hungry.
hahah, I agree with ALL of this!!! Mr. Steroids is going to give me nightmares.
Can I say that Mayra's hair is fabulous!! Jealous!
HEAVEN!! 2 of my favorite girls in 1 FABULOUS post!! ok the picture of carrot top???? GOOOOOOOO! ugh i'm not going to be able to sleep tonight! straight dry heaving just a little bit….and speidi…they make my blood boil just by looking at them!! seriously why the freak are they even famous??? douchebags…. bananas i love you lady!! serious love vibes heading to you and liz!!! you badgers are all friggin nuts!!
hahahaha! you're just too funny for your own good, girl! Doing a great job at guest posting, for sure!
i agree with every single above statements. i actually wished i had come up with that post…
may i also ask the same question i asked yesterday…how the f do you guys maintain amazing hair like that??? so jealous!
muchos besos! xxx
OMG that Rachael needs to put on some weight, that is totally scary and not in a good way! Yuck.
xoxo
LOL THAT'S JUST HILARIOUS!
I hate the Jonas brothers…my 12 year old sister is obsessed :S
I agree with U! Great post, doll!
XoXo
YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEY MAYRA!!!!! lady i freaking love you big time {uh.duh} and this post is just a tiny nick (haha…tiny nick) on the reasons why….dude i am thinking our first meet not be able to wait until february!!! after this weekend i am gonna be JONSIN TO MEET YOU FOR REAL IMMEDIATELY!!! I NEED SOME BANANA BADGER IN THE MIDDLE FOR REAL LADY!!!
duuuuuddddee….last minute ticket is all i am sayin…and i'm just saying….it'd be a good idea…smart investment…it's not loubies…but ya'know!
and liz…well liz….OH LIZ I WILL SEE YOU IN LIKE 12 HOURS!!!!!!!! oh yes ma'am get your gorgeous bootay READY!!!!! WOOPWOOP!!!
Hahaha, I am hysterical with laughter!
Agreed 100% on all of it. Somebody needs to shove a burger into that girls mouth STAT! When was the last time she ate?? The late 90s. That's just gross.
And Speidi. Don't even get me started. YOU ARENT FAMOUS! Get over it. You're just annoying. No body likes you. I hope you choke on that taco bell. Ok maybe that's a but much, but you get my point!
OMG, thanks for speaking the truth about those JoBros! Major LOLs at the "dry" side comment!
Zoe needs some food! Have a safe trip and loads FUN IN ATL!
Yep, I just peed my pants. And I'm not talking small little dribble. I'm talking its a good thing I'm wearing black today. Bwah ha ha ha!
I concur on every.single.point. That's why I heart my Bananas.
HA! love that you posted the one good hair pic of me. YESSS! i'm offically a badger!!! lol.
i'll be back to comment more 'cause you know that's how we badgers roll…
Oh, I LOVE the hatorade!!
HILARIOUS!
I love Liz and I love Banana's and this post just reminded why. So funny and so ON POINT! Don't even get me started on the ridiculousness that is Speidi. I can't stomach those two. The fact that those two are richer than I'll probably ever be is just wrong on so many levels!
Hahaha!
I love RZ but wow she needs to get some meat on her bones.
Agreed with all of these. And it's nice to meet you, Mayra!!
OMG I could not agree more! Rachel is sooo scary skinny, I like her and her show, but come on! I hate Heidi and Spencer…why are they famous? Speaking of, all of the lazy women out there who keep having kids to get my tax dollars you can join that special place in my heart right about where the freaking OctoMom lands…..no where! I have no sympathy for you and frankly you infuriate me! As for the J-Bro's, my niece loves them. I hate that she loves them…the end. Ugh, and if you read my blog, you know that having a child is second only to being chained in my basement forever at this point in my life…meaning, it's just not for me..yet/if ever.
Love the guest post! You are hilarious!!
"bitch, you are ORANGE!!!" Hahaha that's my favorite part! Seriously, can these people not see what color they are??
Great post, Mayra! XOXO
And Liz, you're almost there! Ahhhhh! Too much excitement to stand. Love you!
Gahhhh….lol. I love you so much Liz. Thank you for the continuation of the b&tch series and the laughs. I needed them this week
Heh. Amen. Jonas brothers? So wrong. Heidi and that douchebag? Vomit.
And what the hell IS with octomum? I was flabbergasted at the whole "tv special" idea. Rea-fucking-lly?
Lol. Love you loads, my crazy girl.
Thank you for keeping me sane.
Hope you are doing fantastically, that your hair is as sexy as ever!
Have a fab weekend gorgeous
love Anika
xx
k i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack!!! and you're probably on your way to oofaland!!! yeeeeee!!!
oh hun have so much fun!!! i will miss you like whoa but not really because i better be getting some of the BEST TEXTS EVER this weekend! don't forget about middle badger. she's lonely without her sidekicks
LOVE YOU. OBSESSED MUCH? UM YES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!
Fun post, darling!
Rachel Zoe is scary skinny!
xoxox,
CC
Haha… you're awesome. and I'm with you on all of them! Except, maybe, the Jonas Brothers. I can imagine if I was 17 that I would looooove them. Now I just feel like a pedophile.
LOL What a great post. You had me laughing so hard. So true.
Seriously- this is why I stay away from the tabloids. It sucks your brain dry!
Great post! Soooo funny. I totally agree with everything. The one that bugs me the most are Heidi and Spencer. I have never watched the hills and I know who they are, that pisses me off. I can't wait until they disappear!
I concur. On all of this! Just about wet myself reading this. You ladies are too funny!
um this post is funny and where are carrot tops pants?
ha, love it!
great post ms mayra!
luv you girlies!!
i'll definitely drink to that. all of that. twice.
Such a good post Mayra!! ON SPOT.
And have a fabulous time Liz!!
This is one of the funniest posts ever! thanks for the laugh this morning. I 100% agree with everything said thus far haha
xoxo
AHHHHHHHHH hahahahahahahaha! This made my day! HAHAHA! I think I will have perma smile forever! This is funny! Love it! Ha!
xoxo
J
P.S.
STOP BY THE SITE I'M DOING A GIVEAWAY.
http://www.talkprettytome.blogspot.com
hilarious! great post. Totally with you on the pregnancy bug, stay away! and dude that chick is orange!
Liz – miss you already girl, i'm sure you are having a blast!
Oh banana-rama, seriously I heart Rachel Zoe but that is not normal. The girl makes me look like a heffer. And feel a lot better about my body, is that wrong?
LOL @ stay away…HA, it's gonna get ya, gonna get ya!
Oompa Loompa song is stuck in my head now, babe!
Lizzy, have fun! Oh and I was in Zara a couple of days ago and saw a bunch of ET tees…totes thought of you guys!
Girl, a big holla holla to 100% of your hilarious observations listed above. I didn't realize Rachel Zoe looked THAT scary-skinny underneath all those fabulous clothes! And your hair=I lust for. MUAH!
Ha, yes! Oh Mayra, you perfect woman you. And you once again did NOT disappoint with the captions. Nope, never! Love it, love your face.
Hahaha…what a effing funny post!! Good to know I'm not the only one that thinks those 3 are d-bags.
Totes mcgotes commenting on my own blog…weird…but MAYRA ARE YOU READING THIS???
THANK YOU!!! I LOVED IT AND YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Truer words have never been spoken! Amen, forever and ever.
OMG. You killed me w/ the I think I see pubes Goo!!! Soooooo freaking nasty! I think I just threw up a little.
dude. forget the lovey dovey posts already, and do these kinds of posts. fucking fantastic! LOVED IT. and you are right fucking on here. you get my stamp of approval!
SO funny! Rachel Zoe's sternum scares the bejesus out of me!
Ok this made my day! I peeked earlier, but had time to sit and read! One funny lady! Thanks for the giggles!
That was an amazing post, love it! Ha ha, I totally agree with you on every account…yuck, that orange!? What was she thinking? Have a fun trip Liz!
AHAHAHAHAHA i agree 100% with all of this. ahha it's perfect. skinny bitches = disgusting (as my jock brother and his teenaged buddies say during Top Model "All those girls are too skinny to be attractive." Gotta love them =)) tanorexia=unattractivee; and ahhaa carrot top=disturbed. (oh and of course the jonas brothers are horrendous disney rockstar wannabes)
PS how on earth do you guys do your hair so perfectly? I feel like mine just looks like a flat out messsss most of the time!
Oh yeah, the baby rabies. I've been trying to avoid that myself.
I love Little Mayra. She knows this. You know this. We all know this. She inspires me to blog better everyday. She also cracks my SHIT up.
Ahhh i just loved this post so much!!! Amazing!! I agree on everything, particularly "speidi" – could they be the most horrendous couple ever???
Fabulous post xxxx
HILARIOUS! Great guest post… I agree with it all!
As if I didn't already love her enough!
carrot top makes me dry heave. but spencer pratt? makes me want to kick small furry woodland creatures. ugh.
i loved this post!!
lol!!!!!
I hope that you are having the beeeestest time ever Lizzy!!! Bananas nailed it!
yep – we share the same brain. scary. xoxo. thanks for this post. made my day!
Lady!!! Can't you run for president or something??? I would TOTALLY VOTE for you!!! I think you would win somehow! Looks + brain = unstoppable!! XX
Oh what a good post Mayra. What photo of carrot head had be burst out loud in laughs. He's naked and looks so stupid. Especially with the Cosmo magazine in the background.
Like you, I don't care for the Jonas brothers! But, I must know how they are D-bags??
And who is that last couple…theyre so cute!!! i'm joking.
Hahaha, YES… yes to it all!! Give that woman a sandwich – or TEN!!!!
lolz lolz lolz! I think the best was your caption for the Jonas Bros! Hilarious. But I disagree with the pregnancy one-I just love big baby bellies. Maybe because I have two little ones. Don't get me wrong-pregnancy is not very fun though!
LOL – 'dbag city" is a new phrase i will be using.
thanks for this!
Oh lord, that picture of Carrot Top…I think I need to shower now.
And I've been known to be a bit of a tanorexic myself (albeit a pale one). Thanks to Brooke Hogan for reminding me why that's a bad thing.
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