You taught me precious secrets
Of a true love, Withholding nothing
You came out in front and I was hiding
Now I’m so much better
And if my words don’t come together
Listen to the melody
Cuz my love is in there hiding -A Song For You, Donny Hathaway
Dear Anonymous,
We broke up 3 years ago today. It’s not like I have the date in my bberry calendar…it’s just JUNE 15…someone’s birthday I am missing, I wondered? You know how bad I am with dates… No, no…OHHHH. Shit. 3 years ago…I wonder what you did with the ring…is that tacky to ask? I mean, we never discussed it after we exploded. Or after I blew us up. On your twitter, under your “Bio” you have the nickname that only I called you…Damn you internets and your evil ways, and damn me for even looking.
I don’t feel good…something is wrong and you know how I am. Remember? Constantly repeating “I don’t feel good” and you pretending to be annoyed but really you thought it was cute. “I know baby! You just told me 3 minutes ago!” (and then you’d smile…remember?) You shouldn’t have told me, in a moment of weakness that you thought it was adorable, you know…because of course I said it more. I’m mad at you, Anonymous. This is supposed to be a FASHION BLOG and you are really pissing me off. I want to post about the Celine Resort Collection but it’s not genuine anymore. I should never have opened the door and let you out. 
Fine, let’s talk about fashion, Anonymous. I slept in an old long sleeved shirt of yours last night, I don’t even know why the hell I still have it. How did my heart know it was our “anniversary?” The subconscious is crazy. Am I a masochist/ emotional cutter? It comforted me. I was alone. It felt like your arms were wrapped around me as I cried myself to sleep. LUCKILY, I have friends who said this was ok. They also, gently, told me it was probably time to take it off today. So here I am…F21 Leggings and a woven plaid shirt from some boutique I found yesterday. Ponytail and a headband. Not feeling, or looking too Unbeweavable, but at least I’m not wearing your damn shirt anymore.
Fine, let’s talk about fashion, Anonymous. I slept in an old long sleeved shirt of yours last night, I don’t even know why the hell I still have it. How did my heart know it was our “anniversary?” The subconscious is crazy. Am I a masochist/ emotional cutter? It comforted me. I was alone. It felt like your arms were wrapped around me as I cried myself to sleep. LUCKILY, I have friends who said this was ok. They also, gently, told me it was probably time to take it off today. So here I am…F21 Leggings and a woven plaid shirt from some boutique I found yesterday. Ponytail and a headband. Not feeling, or looking too Unbeweavable, but at least I’m not wearing your damn shirt anymore.
You’re getting pretty famous, Anonymous. I’m happy for you. I am waiting for the day I go to I-Tunes and there you are. Or the day I hear you on the radio…What do I say? Oh yeah…I used to know him. I remember when his studio was in his parents garage and when he had to put ads on Craigslist looking for piano/guitar/voice teaching gigs to make ends meet. Oh yeah…him, the really good looking one? Tall, looks better unshaven (at least I thought so)? Yeah, we had our children’s names picked out and we used to watch The Dog Whisperer over and over, drinking wine and speaking in Cesear Milan’s voice to each other. Oh you like his music? That is just SUPER. So I just want you to know, Anonymous, that your getting famous is going to be really annoying for me. Just sayin.
I’m a smart cookie, Anonymous. That’s one of the things you loved about me. I know I have been dating tools and dbags for the past 3 years because I have yet to properly deal with the demise of us. The last one, the one that was featured so prominently when I started this blog, took my dbag accepting heart to a new low, and I like to think, Anonymous, that if you knew what he did to me, you’d be very upset. Being smart can be such a curse-I hate knowing why I’m doing things and what I should be doing instead…but I don’t do them. 
I am listening to Donny Hathaway and remembering how you used to play the piano and sing “A Song For You” to put me to sleep when I didn’t feel well. I like your version better.
I’m sick and tired, literally. I am stressed and I am wondering how badly the mistakes I made in the past with us, are going to affect my future with someone else. I don’t think I am in the right frame of mind to call you, to email you, to anything you. The past 3 years have been good, Anonymous. I’m different. I don’t know that we’d fit anymore. I don’t know that we would be able to forget or forgive what we’ve done to each other. I’m good though, I’m happy..or at least working on it everyday. I have my own things going on and a lot of blessings. I have a lot of love to give, and you know what, at the very least I have an overflowing internet dating inbox, so Happy Anniversary of sorts, Anonymous.
If you read this…thank you. Back to fashion and fabulous things this week, but I had to get that out. And of course, enter my It’s Unbeweavable Hair and Makeup Giveaway. Besos, besos, besos, XOXO, Liz
If you read this…thank you. Back to fashion and fabulous things this week, but I had to get that out. And of course, enter my It’s Unbeweavable Hair and Makeup Giveaway. Besos, besos, besos, XOXO, Liz
{ 62 comments }
we don't need to understand, or know who this person is, but we are here to listen (ie read) and that's all i can say. i got your back, girl!
I feel you, babe. It's been 5 years for me, and we think we move on… Then the past b*$%@-slaps us across the face. Love you. B
Liz, it's funny how much I relate to that. I have these pants of my ex's that I'm looking at right now, and they are my favorite to wear to bed. We started dating October 31, 2001, and every year, I remember him on Halloween. He's turning 30 this next month. Oddly enough, that guy I just met has the exact same birthday as him. I was just talking to a friend about the decisions I made about 4 years ago. I was saying how I wish I could have the knowledge, but not have had to deal with the painful experiences. If I only knew then, what I know now… I hate the hard times I've been through over the past few years. Nonetheless, I continue to pray and become a stronger person because I have faith that God has something wonderful in store for me. My favorite quote from Mother Teresa says, "I know that God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."
LOVE YOU LIZ!!!XOXO
Wow…such a beautiful post. It´s kinda odd…but I like it. You know, you´re getting so good with the picture selection. I LOVE these pics!!
I totally understand you and this was beautiful. I hope he finds it .. or that you decide to share this with him. Or maybe it'll just stay this way and that's okay too.. at least you got it out.
Kisses & Hugs Liz !! xoxox
there is so much I could say to this post but all that really matters is that I get it. I feel you. like, really feel you because I have been thinking these same things lately. and it's not even an anniversary. but it has been 2 and a half years and sometimes I think, will I ever get over him?
my heart ached when I read your second to last paragraph. especially this part: "I'm different. I don't know that we'd fit anymore. I don't know that we would be able to forget or forgive what we've done to each other."
exactly how I feel. you just put into words all the thoughts in my head!
so this may be a fashion blog, but I appreciate you putting it out there, because you are not alone in these feelings. we all go through it and I think knowing that helps us get to the other side.
Hi Liz, I just came across your blog the other day and added it to my google reader…I admire how you were able to put your feelings into words, to share with your readers a different aspect of your life that does not involve fashion and to let us into your day. Thank you. btw I love that below the "post a comment" it says you are my sunshine…my mom use to sing that to us as kids and it always brings back fond memories.
You couldn't have said it any better. I admire your strength & courage to post and let the world read. It's amazing how much you can feel and express @ times. A simple shirt can make everything better or so it seems. You definately have an inbox of sorts to call upon whenever you need a comment. Love…love…love your blog!!!
Thanks for sharing that with us. I admire you for posting that. You have such a wonderful way of expressing your feelings. I wish you the best. I hope your week has started off well.
You are such a strong, courageous, and gorgeous person! Thank you for showing us all that it is okay to feel whatever it is that our heart is telling us- and that it is alright to say out loud "No, I'm not okay right now, but I will be."
You're amazing xoxo
oh god. this is brutal, but you are going to be ok.
Oh sweetie, I get how you're feeling completely.
It's been 3 1/2 yrs since I broke up with my ex and only NOW do I truly feel over him. I threw out everything that reminded me of him back then (except for some pics that I look fab in – lol, couldnt get rid of those right?!). It's TOTALLY ok for you to still think/miss him…he prob still thinks about you…
Someone once told me it takes one month for every year uve been with the person, to get over them. But it really depends on the person & the type of relationship it was, so the fact that your honest about your feelings means you are actually moving on…
And you never know, his first HIT single could be about you – you deserve it!
xoxo love ;->
Girl, just keep it coming. I am wondering who this kat is but whatever. He doesn't matter because you are beautiful and smart and wonderful just as you without him. I understand what it is like to think about guys in the past. It's weird, I used to date this professional skateboarder for a little bit and sometimes when I pass the DC store in Soho, I see his photo and I am like, 'hmmm wonder how that dude is.' But I am better without him because our relationship was like a train wreck in slow motion.
deep breath. right now.
let it in.. the world, the earth, the shirt, your home, your happiness, your powerful existance.. all of the energy you thrive on.. let it all in.. imagine, right now.. everything is as you want it to be.. unbeweavably perfect.. and it shall be. it is. i feel it. everyone around you will feel it. small ripple effect into a gigantic snowball.. maybe even a sudden earth shattering rumble..
now let it out. exhale. only your desired version of perfection remains as it is already circulating your system.. let the bad out.. time to start anew.. a brand new breath.. a brand new meaning.. here we are.. ready with open arms to hear you and help you! happiness is yours.. look at you go!
see you in the city.
xoxoxox
MD
…almost in tears …it's crazy how old memories creep up on us with all the old emotions to boot …I have an ex …and ex fiance …7 years …June 11th is our breakup day …I'm over him …yet I still remember the day too. Although it passed this year with no remembrance until now. It will get easier and you will become more famous than he
You have a way of weaving words together, and creating beauty with them. (sorry to use the word 'weave'). Yes, this is terribly sad. But, only on the surface does it appear sad. Ultimately, this is showing your inner self: a strong, beautiful, woman with many friends who love her. And I STILL see the fashion blog in this post. Fashion is personal, fashion speaks volumes about a person, and fashion can make you feel emotions. So, this shirt, this long sleeved shirt, carries a history with it, as every important article should. I'm sorry that the history here is a painful one. But, who's to say that today, without this history, you would have, It's Unbeweavable!, or these almost 300 followers who everyday read what you have to say and feel connected to you personally? Without this history, the Liz we know today, might not be the same Liz, and sadly, we may never have gotten to know you. You are going to be ok. You will be more than ok. <3 u. And for anything else I have to say, it will be off comment zone. <3 U!
Aw. It must be hard when little things bring back the precious memories, but you're a strong girl. It's always sad to remember the good times, I don't know about your situation, but it's even sad when things can't go back to where they used to be. For instance if you loved the person or fell out of love, the sad part is remembering the good times. But things happen for a reason and this makes you a much stronger person than you were yesterday.
Keep your head up!! ;D
Sometimes we have to let it out. So, know we are here to offer our support and love and understanding.
all i can say is i <3 you. i do. and i understand, trust me.
Amazing post Elizabeth… heartbreakingly sincere. I hope he reads this, but even if he doesn't I bet it was great to get off your chest. Thank you for sharing. I think most of us can relate. Mine is named Scott and he works in film, and I feel like throwing up whenever I see his name in film credits… but I torture myself by staying in the theater till they roll by just the same…
<3 U! xoxo
absolutely keeping you…well you know i said enough…you're amazing!
You are an amazing writer. The way you write is so honest, it's like I can lose myself in your story. I am so grateful that you share your thoughts in such a raw way. I can't say I can relate because I haven't let myself fall in love. I thought I did until looking back, it wasn't love. But that is a whole blog in itself! I appreciate you so much.
When the f can we hang out?!?! I need to come to Cali in a bad way.
XOXO
Fo Jeezy, E!
I read ur post a little earlier tonight when there were only 2 comments and now there's like 21!! I read them all so I don't repeat anybody's…talk…stuff.
I just- think it's so strange- love. I've been in my relationship for years, and have made mistakes-big ones-so has he, but there is something outside of the mistakes and words-something that neither of us can MAKE go away, and that is how I think love is. You may have lost him-or u drove each other away, but you cannot drive away love when it is real.
Back story- My parents are madly in love and 2 years ago I saw them go thru something shocking(not cheating, but some other stuff I wouldn't want to put into cyber space-tho I'd tell just u if u asked:) -anyway, They had reasons to pull the plug, to leave. It would probably have been the okay thing to do-leaving, but neither did. There was so much anger and hurt- for 2 years! I still see it in them, but they forgave and have grown. We grow even when we are together. We will change constantly, and our partner must continually fall in love with us again with every major change to who we are. We're constantly having to evolve-You would have changed even with him there-so would he.
If you still love him–outside of the pain, I would say you should consider writing down what you think- and what you've written here as well. Write to him and about him until your fingers bleed. When you feel you have everything out, think about whether you want to send it to him.(not on facebook-cuz…it's facebook) I just have felt the ripping apart of relationships that should not be ripped before–some people are worth forgiving, and he may feel that way towards you as well. Just- if u still love him, don't let the years where he is still available and reachable slip past without u attempting to tell him how you feel. He could very well throw it into ur face- it's a terrible risk, but I would do if I was in it and in love. If you don't love him anymore and just miss what could have been, then don't do anything, cuz u will just get hurt–but-if there's a chance- and u want to try, don't let fear stop you. You may feel a wound opened again, but you should fight for it if you want him.
I hate that I gave u advice of sorts since I don't really know the situation- and it's important to not let anyone else influence u into something or stop u from doing what u need. The two of you are the only ones who know what really happened or what is best for u.
I guess I just mean-think about it-consider it. If you come to the conclusion that it wouldn't work, then that's the right thing to do- but don't live in remorse for the rest of ur life wondering if you could have said something.
Going thru breakups and betrayal can be heart breaking, but the sums of all of those things would not equal the regret of not trying.
Even if u write out ur feelings and never say it to him- it will help you not clench it inside where it sits like a tumor- maybe talking about it on ur blog is helping-I hope it is.
As usual- I'm babbling on, so I'll stop here- but just make sure that ur the one making the decisions about what to do, or how to move on-don't let fear and the past take the reins of your future.
I hope I didn't upset u further by suggesting the things I did… That's the last thing I would want to do.
love, Pen
Thanks for your raw emotions. I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who still feels the pain, after 2 years of my break up with my ex. However, I don't want anyone to go through the hurt so I'm sorry you have been going through that. I want you to know that you are a marvelous woman who deserves an amazing guy and a fairy tale romance! Keep searching and never turn back if this guy is not right for you. I admire your stength – keep your head held high sweetie! xoxo
Such amazing post, Honey Liz! Perfection!
Have a great day!
XoXo
Darling this was so beautiful. You completely open yourself up and let us inside your heart. You are just so wonderful!!
I am sorry your hurting and confused. You are just so fabulous!!
I miss you loads sweetheart and I will try and send you an email update from Paris. Enjoy your week my little banana.
Love you xxxxxxx
ps. i linked your giveaway to my latest (very short) post xxx
Oh, Liz…this was so heartfelt and beautifully written. Honestly, I commend you for having the courage to post something so personal. Anniversaries of a break up are never an easy thing to deal with – I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now and wish that I could give you a big hug (and a box of cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery) to ease the pain a little. While I love your blog being a fashion blog, I really liked this break in the routine, and seriously Liz, I think it's amazing that you were able to articulate every emotion that you're going through.
You're a beautiful and brave girl, and I just adore you and wish you all the best. I'm a firm believer that what is meant to be, will find a way. If anonymous isn't the right guy for you, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is someone better out there for you, who will treat you absolutely beautifully. You're just so lovely and deserve only the best, my dear.
Oh honey, I add my love and camaraderie to the comments above. This is NEVER easy. Mine's been nearly a year and it still slaps me in the face more often than I'd like.
But you are a strong girl. A wise girl. And someone so capable and worthy of an epic love, it just needs to find you.
Kudos for your sincerity and honesty.
xoxo.
darling, you're fabulous.
a little reminder, just in case you forget
you are wonderful, great and all the above. you stay that way and if another comes along and can't see that then f them! love you dearly!!
Everyone else has said it.
So I'll just say, 'I get it. I get it.'
Bethany.
xox
you are beautiful and full of heart, so stay strong girl, things always have a way of working out with time<3
I know that when you're sitting here and looking back it seems like regret, but you made a decision when you did for a reason. That reason doesn't change just because you miss him. My 6 year anniversary is on Thursday with someone I'm no longer dating, and yet, somehow, every year it makes me sad.
I'm sure you know what's best for you, so if you feel like calling/texting/messaging or ignoring him then you will. Sometimes people do get second chances. {{{hugs}}}
Boo to d-bags. If you need any of them "taken care of," I totally have your back.
Here's to bigger and better things to come!
Ugh it is such a curse to know why you are doing something that you shouldn't be doing! Grrr the past is a giant bitch constantly reminding us of stuff that pulls us back instead of pushing us forward. Hope you smile a lot today!!
This post made me sad…well, because it brought back a lot of memories/feelings for me too. Break ups suck. Especially after you've been dating for so LONG.
I hope you feel better and get that guy out of your mind. The photos are beautiful, by the way.
You totally gave me chills. Not sure I can say anything helpful, but we are all here for you…you're beautiful inside & out.
Those dates, they just stay with you forever. I had to literally change my wedding date because I didn't want to, couldn't have it on HIS birthday. I still can't throw away the notes…little reminders. R is the love of my life, but it never goes away. My heart hurts now…I think that it is for you:)
Love you Lizzy….you know I'm here for you!
Aw, trash the old mementos – it's no good keeping them!
Do I get a backstory or is there a post related to that? Because now I'm dying of curiosity… How long were you together? What did the ring signify? Why don't you talk anymore??? The curiosity is killing me!
I dated a boy for around 2-3 years. He cheated on me, I dumped him, & he still has a ring with my name on it (literally) lying around somewhere… Haha suckerrrr!
Shawna's Study Abroad
i held my breath throughout this whole post…i feel for you and myself and anyone else who's dealt with such a deep ache.
i don't know if it ever goes away, but hopefully, in time, the 'what ifs' will calm down. i'd give you a giant hug and an even bigger margarita if i could.
brutal. glad you can talk about it though. you're very strong and everything happens for a reason.
xoxo
Love is hard, and even harder is working on this things that love left behind.I slept in his old shirts…but I found the small amount of comfort is short lived and ends up doing more harm than good.
We've all been there, hang in there Baby!
kisses and hugs
♥
P.S. I fell for a musician with facial hair as well, now I'm in love with my untouchable rocker best friend who has a girlfriend…he also has facial hair. I see a pattern
oh gosh this hurt I know how does it feel..you're a star so let's shine!!
i love you!!! just reminding your fab self unless you forgot…
you made me cry! lol – obviously you've heard it all already but…
you did what you had to do in ending your relationship and are a stronger woman because of it. every tear, all the frusteration. it's worth it because it made you who you are today.
Good for you cuppycake.
Good. For. You.
I know it must have been really hard for you to write this, because you can really feel the words when you read it, but this was beautiful. I think my favorite post you've made. Pain can be so beautiful in a twisted way, but nothing helps more then releasing emotions in any form. It's moments like those that move us forward to a place where we learn who we are & what we want.
xo
Oh lady, that sounds like a helluva breakup. Hope that writing about it eases the pain a little …
Ohhh…. I hope this has release some of the pain your carrying hun.
Oh my darling Liz I am on the verge of tears… I have SO been there! The pain of losing who you thought was "the one" never really subsides, does it? Let's hope that we each find someone new and better who loves us a whole bunch and makes us forget the ghost anniversaries of lovers past!
xoxox,
CC
This is my favorite post of yours I've ever read, hands down.
(AND I read every word, so there.)
I've always wondered how hard it would be to break up with someone but still have to see them splashed across the page in magazines, pictures online, articles…
This is why I've never dated a celebrity.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Love yous.
Beautiful written. I think I might like reading about your thoughts more than about your amazing fashion discoveries.
ah time will lessen the pain. thinking of old love and asking all these what if questions… been there and you are a strong person, everything will work out in the end for you whatever it is….
You're a ridiculously strong woman lady! We learn from our past loves, trust me. There is a forever guy out there for you!
i got chills reading this, like I can really feel what you are going through. you are an amazing woman and I am so glad to have gotten to know you through our blogs.
I know you've gotten so many great comments in this post and I don't want to repeat anything, just know that I *heart* you and HUGS to you! One of these days we are going to have a big meetup so I can give you a hug in real life!
P.S. sorry I'm so late to this post, but my wonky eye is keeping me from all things blogs today!
Oh sweetie. You know the reason why we read your blog is because of YOU, right? This post was so genuine and heartfelt and real. We've all been through something like this. I can totally relate. It took me nearly a decade. Yes a decade, to get over one of my great loves. It's ok to remember the good times, and it's ok to think of him every now and then. It's only human. Here's hoping you find someone wonderful and worthy of your great, giving heart. xx D
you know how much i love you my dear and when you are sad it breaks my heart. everyone one has their own way to grieve a loss and i commend you that you can open your heart and pain to a community of people that sincerely love you.
You know that i am always going to be here for you when you need a shoulder to cry on. just make sure i'm not wearing my white leather jacket. lol just kidding. love you babe!! xo
aww sweetie, I wish I had read this post on the day you wrote it…I just love that you can post things like this…remember, it's cathartic! I hope you feel better now that you've let it out
Life surprises us all in odd ways..some good, some really sucky. (you can quote me on that) 
If I didn't comment on this already, then I'm an ass… When I first read this, it really, really touched me. I think this is truly lovely… as are you.
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