Call On Me

Right now, there is A LOT going on in my life…transitions, decisions to be made, free time that allows for too much thinking, unresolved issues, questions, STRESSTASTIC. For some people, this causes them to freak out, but honestly, I don’t really know any different. My whole fabulous life has been a big fat question mark for almost 28 years (ONE WEEK TILL MY BDAY haha), and I can’t tell you what I would do if things fell into place and actually stayed there. For me, chaos is comfortable…although as I learn, and grow, I am becoming more aware of the things that I DO have control of.
Disclaimer-this is not in any way an eating disorder blog. I feel weird even going here, because I know there are blogs that I’ve read, that bring me to tears how they so honestly and heartbreakingly chronicle the daily struggles of anorexia, bulemia, etc. How brave these people are to share…I truly admire them and their journeys inspire me. But I do NOT have any of these, thankfully. Ok, moving on.
So as you know, or if you don’t know, read my first blog haha…I was really sick for about two and a half weeks. I didn’t have an appetite, I didn’t even want a Diet Coke-which for me is like going without water. I ate, but food just didn’t taste good, I’m sure it had something to do with the whole tastebud nose relationship, whatever, I’m not doctor. So, I’ve lost a ton of weight. I’ve always been ok with my body, though. I’m Colombian and we have some curves! And I have boobs…oh boy do I have some boobs. But I’ve never fixated on my weight at all. As long as I can fit into my True Religions, I’m good.
I’ve lived my life in a constant haze of pushing myself to be smarter, funnier, prettier, have longer, fuller UNBEWEAVABLE hair hehe, etc. I’ve done drastic things to alter my physical appearance, spent lots of money and I plan on doing more. People don’t call me “Diva” and “High Maintenance” for no reason. No, I’m not exactly proud of this but I’m being honest here-I like feeling pretty. Call me shallow, or whatever-but it’s hard to work in the Fashion industry and be a Make-up artist and not get afflicted with this syndrome of sorts. Looking good is in the job description, and people are lying if they say it isn’t, in these industries. Plus, this is only a small part of my personality…I fancy myself a giving, funny, gentle, generous and non judgemental person way more than I am a diva. Ohh and I’m humble, too
So my “friend with the amazing skin” (she’s getting famous!) is also in a state of transition, but she does NOT do chaos. Hell, no…She rips chaos a new one, but with a really friendly smile. I constantly find myself attracted to these kind of people for close friendships…they tend to balance me out. I’ve started working out with her, rather it’s going for a walk/climb up the mountain in Laguna, or to the gym. But now I’m going to the gym by myself…and in some way it’s making me feel more in control of my life than anything I’ve done in the past 28 years. YES people I’ve been to the gym before! My motivations have always been different though-used to be “just get hotter!” That only works for so long, at least for me. Now my motivation is to clear my head, think good, healthy, positive thoughts and sure, if my ass gets smaller for it, even better. Actually, no, not my ass. I like a lil Colombian booty…so do the boys. Rawr.
Oh this blog is all over the place, and I’m ok with that. I did want to share my latest work-out playlist though. These songs aren’t necessarily my favorites…I love music so much it’s hard for me to even pick out a favorite band or singer. These are the songs that currently amp me up, keep me going on the treadmill for that one extra mile and make me want to sing out loud as I’m doing it. A lot of silly pop and I dunno why, but rap really fires me up! I was totally mouthing Kelly Clarkson on the treadmill today…I’m sure I looked like a total nut job. Some of these songs are slow and my reason for this is that I’m a hopeless romantic and I’m open to the universe finding me love. The slower, romantical songs make me get all dreamy and I don’t realize how another 5 minutes of sweating has gone by. If anyone has any songs that get them going, please share!!

1. My Life Would Suck Without You-Kelly Clarkson (this song is going to get me kicked out of the gym)
2. Heartless-Kanye West
3. Poker Face-Lady Gaga (Girl crush!!)
4. Live Your Life-T.I/Rihanna (“Never mind what haters say, ignore em till they fade away…”)
5.Shake It-Metro Station (I want to look good when I’m sh-sh-shakin it)
6. Better In Time-Leona Lewis (It’s my ex revenge song! Got me through a break up…”even though I really loved you, I’m going to smile cause I deserve too”)
7. Put a Ring On It-Beyonce (no comment haha)
8. Give It To Me-Madonna (LOVE THIS SONG!! “Don’t stop me now, don’t need to catch my breath, I can go ON AND ON AND ON”) totally pushes me to do another 20 minutes or whatever!
9. Amazing-Kanye West (Check out the lyrics below)
“I’m a monster, I’m a mavin
I know this world is changing
Never gave in, never gave up
I’m the only thing I’m afraid of
No matter what you’ll never take that from me
My reign is as far as you’re eyes can see”

AND I SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST!!!
10. Call On Me-Eric Prydz. Do I really need a reason? I mean, besides this video below that I’m sure we’ve all seen, but it’s just so incredible! I WISH I could wear outfits like this to the gym and toss the weave around.

P.S. My True Religions are a smaller size now. But if I post a picture of myself eating a big fat cupcake, I don’t want to hear about it. Life is too short.
xo Dolls

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